I have been silenced my whole life.
I’ve been systematically trained to tone it down, keep it palatable, don’t offend- just pretend.
When I was a child my mother often suffered migrains and we would have to tip toe around the house.
I was often hushed by the adults in my life- forbidden to speak of the polygamy, the dumpster diving, or the beating I just got.
In church I was to turn a blind eye to anyone or anything around me that felt off. I was told to give it to God and let him take care of it.
Culture tells us how to speak words that are “politically correct.” No mind how true they are as long as they follow the given templates.
What I was never taught nor encouraged to do was to speak MY truth- to say it exactly as I see it. Nope! Every time my truth hasn’t aligned with what most of the people around me agreed upon as truth, I have been bullied, ignored, cut off, or treated like an inferior.
I have spent the past 15 years of my life undoing the training to be silent as soon as someone doesn’t like what I have to say, and everyday I have to pay attention to my heart. What is my truth? How do I feel? What am I seeing, hearing, experiencing? How is it affecting me?
Your truth are your pearls of great price. They are your life experiences from your unique individual perspective. Your truth is your gold. Your truth is your light. And speaking your truth is your power.
Words are powerful and this is why so many people try to silence others or use their words to curse people or manipulate them. Even prayers can be spewed out like a spell to bind another up in what they perceive as truth.
We can definitely use our words wisely. We can be tactful. But to see real change in anything it is imperative that we be truth-FULL.
Think about all the times you have altered your truth or watered it down to accomodate other people.
When you water down your truth, you lose the potency of who you are. You dim your light. You devalue your gold. When that happens consistently life can feel insipid and dull.
It takes guts to speak your truth and to leave it unaltered. But until we do, a part of us always remains hidden, pressed down and reeks of depression.
My truth may not be palatable to some people, yet for others it may be exactly what they need to hear and see- the alchemy that will set them free to speak their truth.
I will no longer be bullied into silence. This does not mean I have to speak all my life out into the world. But when I desire to speak, need to speak and asked to speak, it mean I will be brave and bold and not hide.
“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine!”