“Make sure your worse enemy is not living between your own ears.”
While sleeping, I had a dream…
A loud, aggressive, hateful woman was walking down the street alongside a sidewalk I was walking on. Following her was a group of defeated humans- some were being led to their assassination, others had weapons and were obeying her commands. She herself had a small handgun- and so did I. (we both had the same weapon)
They stopped in the street and the people braced themselves to face their death. I watched in horror from behind a bushy tree, desperate to save them yet terrified of being seen.
I knew, that if I could take the woman down, not only would I save the lives of the condemned, but I would set free the soldiers who only obeyed her out of fear. My hands shook as I pulled out my hand gun and checked the barrel to make sure it was loaded.
But the hateful, angry woman’s senses were too keen as her ears perked up to my subtle movements. She demanded I come out from behind the tree. I went to bring my gun up to shoot her, but she was quicker and drew hers up to shoot me. By a twist of fate, her gun did not fire. I took off running, her and the soldiers in hot pursuit behind.
I ran into a building and found a dark room in which to hide. I got my gun ready- aimed to shoot when she came to knock down the door. But I awoke before it happened.
All morning the dream turned in my head and it’s message clarified.
The Hateful Assassin
Consider that every person, situation or thing in a dream is a reflection of self in some way.
Most people have experienced the internal assassin, but especially those who have been traumatized by abuse; This is the condemning voice that rattles on inside your head. The hateful woman represents this internal assassin. She gathers all the ego’s personas for assassination. She hates them. She has nothing but murder for them. Her hate is a product of deep rooted, unresolved anger. She is blames every aspect of self for not having the life she desires. She is aggressive and cruel.
Your core persona- who you really are when all ego is removed has nothing but love and compassion for self. Your core persona loves every part of self, even the weak parts, the failed parts, the shadowy dark parts. This core persona values all the ego perspectives on her journey. But the angry persona won’t have it. She sees them all as weak and blames them for all of her misery. Both the assassin and the core have the exact same weapon. Each have the ability to destroy the other. If the assassin overtakes the core, then all that she is will die. But if she is able to outsmart and overtake the assassin, then all of her internal world will be set free.
The core persona is the only one who is equipped to take out the internal assassin because of the love he/she possesses. If she does not, the internal assassin will destroy all that she holds dear- all that life is to her. Your internal assassin will show no mercy.
We all have a responsibility to rescue our selves from our own internal assassin. As in the dream, she is powerful and is backed by an arsenal of armed soldiers that do her bidding. We may be frightened, weak, outnumbered, overpowered; we made need to find a dark room to hide and get our thoughts together and our ammunition prepared and ready for use.
It will only take one bullet properly aimed. It only takes us positioning ourselves right, aiming, and pulling the trigger. If we can give that internal assassin that one death blow, all can be free and unite in joy as one and healing can begin.
The loyalties of your core persona are not to the assassin, but to YOU! Do not let fear overcome your resolve to be the hero of your own life. Do not allow that internal assassin to go on any further with its hateful, destructive ways.
What will take this inner assassin down? What is the one bullet, the one gun that will wipe her out? What is the position we must take? Remove yourself from her aim, get out your gun, position yourself to fire and wait for her to come to you. Your ammunition is…
Look in the mirror and say to your SELF, with every ounce of passion and courage you have remaining within you-
“(Your NAME)- I am your BEST friend . I got your back! You are not alone! You are AWESOME. You are a valuable and beautiful soul. You deserve to be here and to live life to the fullest. I love and accept you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!”
Those are powerful bullets. Aim and begin shooting!
Take out that internal assassin. Set your soul free!!!