When I read the definition of “normal,” I feel a sort of sickening, boredom in the word- like a insipid cup of soup.
Yet, this is what society at large demands from it’s citizens- to be normal. If someone varies from off the normal-path, doctors, psychologists, and a variety of so-called specialist are summoned to figure out why they are not conforming to the given standard, why they are not usual or typical, and even worse, to try and “fix” them- to make them normal.
The reality is, there is no such thing as normal – only conformity. “Normal” is nebulous and relative. Nothing in this world is “abnormal” when given the context of its existence. Many worry about whether or not they are normal, or if their child or someone they love is normal. Why? Does conformity make someone more important? Or does nonconformity devalue a life?
Everything in this world has value in some way. Even those people and things that repel us teach us something about life, love, and what is pleasing verses what is displeasing to us. Every person in your life is a mirror that reflects something about yourself that you can learn from. To demand people to be normal is to put them in cages and chain them. It is to stifle their growth and potential, to rob them of their freedom, and to suck the very essence of life from their soul- a profound love for who they truly are.
The following video is a wonderful example of a young man- who is very normal given the context of his life, and has blessed humanity with a unique and awesome gift. You too, are gifted, talented and unique. YOU are both normal, given the context of your life, and unique- there is no other YOU in this world. Enjoy your beautiful self!
“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.”
― Paul Farmer
The human heart is the only thing in this world
that weighs more when it’s broken
Self-hate is probably the most painful and destructive emotion a person can experience. It has it’s roots in the formative years of childhood where we see ourselves through the mirror of other people’s eyes. If love and acceptance do not out-weigh the negative perceptions we are given, self-hate can become a life-long struggle. Childhood abuse compounds self-hate to a point that people sometimes find no way out of the perpetual cycle of heartache and sorrow; indeed, many choose to end their own lives.
Self-hate can be observed in not taking care of our physical bodies, being out of touch with our true emotions, not having healthy boundaries, consistently putting other peoples needs above our own, not really knowing our true authentic self because we have spent so many years molding ourselves to the whims of others, staying in abusive and unhealthy relationships, not trusting our own perceptions, allowing others to dictate our lives, and even more obvious ways such as inflicting harm to self and constant critical and demeaning inner dialogue about self.
People who have been raised with sufficient love and acceptance have no idea the deep and injurious wounds self-haters are inflicted by. They are invisible to the naked eye and many times healthy people unwittingly inflict them further through indifference and ignorance. But even so, unless one becomes committed to self-love, unless you can make that determination that you are going to be your own best friend, all the love in the world given by others will continually be filtered by those core beliefs forged in the flames of an agonizing childhood.
There is only one way to fully overcome self-hate and that is through self-love. Yet, having battled this myself, I understand how completely futile that can feel. How does one learn to love themselves when they do not have any idea what that looks like or feels like? But determination and great courage have kept me going and I have overcome so much. Consequently I feel stronger, happier and more peaceful than ever before. Through my personal experience, I have learned that self-love is the single most important art you can ever teach yourself for within self love are found the keys that unlock every other prison door and sets you completely free.
One beautiful human being that was so instrumental in helping me along this journey is the famous Teal Swan: The Spiritual Catalyst. Her background of abuse and torture is hard to even listen to and yet she has gone on to learn self-love and to teach others what she has learned. Now she has published a new book titled, “Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through our Darkest Times.” The following is her speaking on her journey to self-love at a book signing at Watkins in London. What she says in this video can help you to begin the wonderful and courageous journey to self-love!