Trying to Get it Right

A Poem I wrote today about the struggle in trying to get something right!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trying to Get it Right
Written by: Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

I heard you the first time
and tried to get it right
But my memory and my will
Got into a fight
My will it won the battle
and overtook my might

Your earnest plea the next time
Made my memory strong
I made a resolution
Not to get it wrong
But my resolution vanquished
Beneath the pressing throng

The punishment convinced me
N’er let my focus stray
To do my duty faithfully
Let nothing dim my way
But boredom slowed my footsteps
Daydreams set me to play

Your smile was refreshing
As you explained to me
The hows and whats and whys
And then you set me free
Right or wrong or not at all
Was now a choice for me

I heard you the last time
But now I understood
I didn’t have to try this time
I knew I surely would
For my will was now the Master
Of the right way for my good!

Your Inner River that Satifies

there-is-a-river

There is a river
That flows from deep within,
There is a fountain
That frees the soul from sin,
Come to this water,
There is a vast supply,
There is a river
That never shall run dry.

This song talks about the river that “flows from deep within.”

In my book, “The Voice of God Within” I share my journey out of the abyss of religious muck and mire and finding true soul freedom when I began to listen within. I still hear that voice, and I have more peace now than I ever did in stuck in the boxed up teachings of Christianity.

However, my time spent in religion was not in vain. It was a stepping stone to where I am today- a learning process. I do not regret it. I was doing my very best during those years with what I understood. Nor do I advocate that religion is unnecessary. Many people are helped greatly by their religious affiliation.

But the greatest freedom, joy, peace and love all come from the voice within– There is a river that flows deep within each and every one of us. Most religious systems teach that you have to go through a process to receive this special infilling that gives you access to this river. Yet, I have found that it is these very processes offered that keep you away from this precious inner guidance. Religious dogma and expectations cause a person to look more without than within.

The REAL awakening comes when you hear and listen to the voice within. This voice is in every one of us. It is the very spark of life. It is the realization that YOU are the temple of God. Not a building or a group of people- but YOU! The Christ experience is to understand that you too are God incarnate.

“Is it not written in your scriptures, Ye are gods?” ~Jesus Christ

This song talks about freedom from sin, which is what keeps us from drinking of this eternal river. Sin is separation from God, or to put it more plainly- separation from SELF. It is anything that keeps you from listening within. When we hear that voice within, it leads us to have abundant life.

“I came so that you might have a more abundant life” ~Jesus Christ

To be religious is to be dedicated to a systematic way of living, to its rules, and to its religious observances. It is to have an allegorical “old-testament” way of life- to fear and quake before a powerful God- outside yourself, that will one day destroy all that is known to us today; it is to be judgmental of yourself and others; it is to separate, to war against, and to destroy your personal self- old testament religion is divisive. It is an allegorical testament of the evolution of man.

But to be authentic- or what Christ said to the woman at the well, to be in spirit and in truth, is to listen within; it is to drink of the inner eternal waters; it is to be reconnected to yourself; it is to become alive to your true, authentic self, which is God incarnate; it is to be free from rules and regulations and simply subjected to yourself to your own inner guidance system; it is to connect to pure, infinite, unconditional love; it is peace and serenity with yourself, with this life here, with others, and with God; it is the peace that passes understanding; it is to know that you can never really be separate from God; it is understanding that nothing in and of itself is evil or bad, but only perceived as evil (Romans 14:14); it is to be okay with where other people are in their journey; It is the freedom from feeling responsible for other peoples journey; it is to love everyone everywhere because you realize that what you do to one, you ultimately do to yourself; it is understanding that we are all of one source and life is eternal, and this too shall pass; it is knowing that the only thing that is real is that which never changes- that voice of God within- that YOU that has been there all along…

Look for that river within- it is a VAST supply!

 

 

 

What is RIGHT with Me!?

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When someone else comes against us, discourages us, rejects us, misunderstands us, makes fun of us, breaks up with us, or is just plain mean to us, after grappling through the initial blow and shock of what just happened, more often than not, we start to ask ourselves, “What is wrong with me?”

Lets put the breaks on this question right here and now with the simple answer:

NOTHING!!!!

We are not even asking the right question,

“What is wrong with THEM?” 

After all, they are the one with the issue- not you.

They are the one responsible for how they feel and react or respond to ANYTHING in life- including you.

Its time to dump the question of what’s wrong with me and replace it with an empowering, positive question;

“What is RIGHT with me?”

In fact, if you tend to look for what is wrong with you, start making the question “What is RIGHT with me?” a regular habit.

Smile at yourself in the mirror. Ignore all those ugly negative voices that keep trying to pull you into self-condemnation.

Tell that beautiful, one of kind person in the mirror that you are his/her BEST friend and you are going to start telling him/her all the reasons why!

“What is RIGHT with me?”

Now that is a question worth meditating on and answering!!!

Have an awesome day!

 

Why Are They Rejecting Me?

Rejection

One of the most painful human experiences is that of rejection. This is because we are all interconnected and love and acceptance is a primal need.

Rejection is difficult to deal with for anyone and the difficulty increases when it comes to close friends and family, the ones we feel most connected to.

Their are both overt and covert ways of rejecting someone.
An example of an overt rejection is someone outright making fun you or telling you in some way that they do not like something about you.

Covert rejection is more subtle and deceitful.
We feel it inwardly, but outwardly the family and/or friends we feel rejected by act as if they are accepting us; yet, something about their energy or their little subtle remarks to us, tell us that they do not accept us. We may feel confused, frustrated and many times we mercilessly blame ourselves.

The law of attraction states that like attracts like.
When we are striving to raise our positive vibrations, continual, subtle feelings of rejection by those we love can derail us over and again until we feel like giving up.

Powerful exercises to help you overcome the negative emotions rejection evokes:

The following exercises will empower you and help you to move past those negative, hurtful feelings of rejection and onto creating your life of love, joy and full and unconditional self-acceptance.
(The exercises should either be done verbally out-loud or written down somewhere)

Part 1

  • Acknowledge how you feel. E.g. I feel rejected, unloved, hurt…
  • Locate the feeling-pain in your physical body. Talk about it as you feel it move through your body. Breath deeply, blowing out the negative emotions as you write or speak. E.g. It feels like somebody punched me in the gut. The pain is moving through up into my chest around my heart and lungs. (deep breath, slowly release) the energy is shifting. It isn’t as painful now. It is up in my shoulders sort of tingly. (breath deep move and shake the energy around and out of your shoulders) I am blowing it out and I am starting to feel better.

Do this exercise until you feel better. Do not add the reason why or the story behind it. Just feel the energy move through and out of your body. When you have come to a better feeling place, breath a few more deep cleansing breaths while stretching your arms and legs and body out.

Part 2

Why are they rejecting me?

It all has to do with energy and vibrations. Obviously we are attracting the energy of rejection into our vibration. So it stands to reason that somewhere we have adopted the belief that we are not acceptable, or we are unlovable. Try and think back as far as possible to the very first time you felt this feeling or rejection.

E.g. My first feeling of rejection came very young when I was born to a Newly-wed mother and father who had both been previously married and divorced and had other children from their first union. Due to the confusion and pain of being separated from their biological father and now disciplined in severe ways by their step father, my older siblings felt very threatened by my presence. Most of the time they wouldn’t let me play with them. I was even injured a few times by their rejection. Once they accidentally slammed my finger in the door and the tip of my finger was severed. Another time my sister had a neighbor boy punch me in the stomach. I passed out while walking home crying. There is no blame here on them, just the way the energy of rejection was already in place and going through our vortex. I would eventually reject my younger siblings at times as well. It was the energy cycle we were immersed in. 

Lets look at the energetic side to my story:

I was born into a very negative vortex. Because I was born into a family of people that were already deeply wounded by rejection, they were not able to receive my love and affection. In fact, my vulnerability made them outright angry because it reminded them of their own defenselessness. Consequently they rejected and wounded me too. I took into my vortex the energetic imprint of unlovable and unacceptable, and began to attract experiences into my vortex of reality that matched it. I can look over my life and see a painful trail of rejections.

Consider the people who originally rejected you.
What was their energetic imprint? How did this affect your vortex?

Take a little time to comfort your child-self that was originally wounded.
Help him or her to see that it was because the people around her were not able to take in the love and affection he or she offered and it really was not about her, but them. Comfort that child.

Lets add a little deeper perspective to it now as an adult.

When your energy is about healing, love, authenticity and honesty, there are many unhealed people that these positive energy forces will clash with.

Consider this:

If someone feels safe in conformity, your honesty and authenticity will feel threatening to them. If someone is too fearful to face their own shadows, your love and healing energy will feel threatening to them. When someone feels threatened, they generate defenses and hatred towards the one that feels threatening.

An animal senses fear as a threat. Your fear of rejection will also amplify the problem. Because fear is a very negative emotion, it only generates negative vibrations. But as you clear those fears through understanding energetic imprinting and cleansing the wounds, you will feel rejection less and less and begin to love and accept yourself fully. Joy will ensue!

Repeat the above exercises as often as needed.

Practice part 1 whenever you are sideswiped with those feelings of rejection. Move the energy through. Do not allow it to continue rolling around in your body and mind. Deal with it.

Practice part 2 until you fully understand the cause and effect of your own energetic imprint. Knowledge is power. Once you understand what we are really dealing with at an energetic level, you now have the tools to let that negative energy be reabsorbed into pure positive energy- send it into the energetic vortex of reality- it was never really about you.

Now you can move forward in creating a life of happiness and pure JOY!

Start Your Day with Awesome Sauce

love-pen-bed-drinking

Good Morning!

Here is quick morning practice to do before you even get out of bed that can add that extra awesome sauce to your day!

  1. As soon as you wake up say “Good Morning” out-loud with a smile on your face.
  2. Next, say out-loud, three things you are thankful for; e.g. Thank you for a safe nights rest. Thank you for another day of life. Thank you for this bed/ room….
  3. Spend five minutes waking up your body. Stretch your feet back and forth. Roll your wrist. Take long, smooth, deep breaths. Bask in the moment.
  4. Sit up and ask yourself, how do I feel today and what do I need? Tune into your body. Its it tired? Sore? Refreshed? What about your mood? Do your night dreams come to mind? Bring them to the forefront. What emotions were felt? How do they relate to your current life? Acknowledge them. If they were negative emotions, determine what you need to bring them up the vibrational scale. Keep a journal and pen by your bed to take notes.
  5. Once you decide on your needs, think about how you can meet those needs in the upcoming day. If you are sore, maybe a hot Epsom salt bath and a couple aspirin would help. If you are weary from a stressful week, perhaps you needs rest and relaxation.
  6. Ask yourself, “How do I want this day to feel?” Now that you have tuned in to your needs and desires, you can answer this question. Feel is the key word here. Do you want to feel relaxed? If you are meeting up with people, how do you want the meet up to feel? If you are going to work, how do you want work to feel today? Put your feelers out there and really feel what you desire.
  7. Now commit it all to the universe. Place it all in a colorful bubble- choose a color that feels good and then mentally release it for the universe to work it out.

You are the co-creator of your life. You are either creating by default or you are creating intentionally.

Have an AWESOME day!!!

How to say NO nicely

 

Just say no

“NO” tends to have such a negative stigma to it, and yet it is possibly the most powerful word in our vocabulary when we learn to use it regularly in our lives. You see in this world of duality we have both YES and NO-  and together they are called CHOICE! As we move toward wholeness and well-being, it is imperative that we become very cognizant of our choices and choose deliberately and wisely those things which heal, uplift, bring peace, love, joy, happiness, and fun- and sometimes those things that are difficult in order to help ourselves or others out of loneliness, despair or even danger.

“NO” needs to be heavily cultivated in our lives in order to make room to say YES to our true desires, wants and needs. It’s important to decipher accurately what you are responsible for and what you are not responsible for. In order to bring NO into your comfort zone, you have to come to the realization that:

  • You are not here to be the savior of the world.
  • You are not the rescuer of other peoples lives.
  • You are not responsible for other peoples choices, other peoples feelings or emotions, other peoples opinions, and other peoples journey here.

We can call this list false responsibility. “Other people” includes family and close friends. Even our children, once they are of age to make their own decisions independently, we need to let them go and make their own choices and be responsible for their own journey, feelings, mistakes and progress. We gave them all we were able and now its time for them to journey on and learn as we have learned- through trial and error, and through all of life experiences- the good and the difficult.

The next time you are asked to be somewhere, to bring something, to do something, to go somewhere, to help out, care for, etc… weather asked verbally or by assumption, if you are not in the habit of saying no when you need to, then do not answer right away. Take time consider what your responsibilities truly are, whether or not you want to say yes and why. Think about the obligation that saying yes will entail and if you have the energy, time, strength or desire to make that obligation.

When you say NO, you need not offer an explanation. I bite my tongue, if needs be, to keep from explaining myself to others. I don’t need to do that.

*Just remember that once you give a reason why you are saying no, that opens the door for argument and for the other person to persuade you otherwise. When you are endeavoring to build healthy boundaries “NO” is one of your best friends!!!

saying no

 

Hi Vibes for the Wounded Soul; the struggle is real!

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As a child, the mental and emotional abuse I endured was almost unbearable.
There was some physical abuse as well, in the form of corporal punishment that never matched the “crime.”
Most of the time I had no idea what I had done wrong, but my father seemed very adept at pulling heinous crimes out of the hat for an excuse to unleash his own unhealed wounds on his children.
The alcohol consumption only worsened the amount and intensity of his chastisements.

Horror… terror…dread…
How does one describe being a child of a belligerent drunk?

I have flashes of hiding under the bed, or in the closet,
covering my ears so as to shut out the screams of my siblings,
my heart pounding into my throat-
hoping beyond hope he would not find me.
Who knows the hours I remained there at times, terrified to come out.

But it was the emotional abuse that was the most damaging-
the angry and insulting slurs,
beating me down, insult by insult,
like a worthless piece of existence.

Being raised by a father figure-
the one you looked up to for love and acceptance,
to cheer you on,
to protect you from the harshness of life,
to give you strength and courage…
left scars that are blatantly visible in my everyday life…
Scars from always being watched by a condemning eye,
relentlessly ridiculed and punished,
scars of never being enough-
never kind enough, good enough, obedient enough…
And those scars don’t go away.
Some of them pierce me everyday,
cast an ugly shadow over my spirit,
get in the way of the perfect life I long to live…

I want to say to you,
I understand that the struggle is real.
You are not alone!
I get it!

High vibes life has been the antidote to my deep depression,
to low self-esteem, to fear of waking up,
and to fear of dying.

High Vibes Life has taught me…
That I can create something NEW!
I can paint my own rainbow
and make my world beautiful!

It has not been easy.
Everyday I have to practice.
Everyday the scars and wounds stare me in the face,
and everyday I have to kiss them good morning
welcome them once again as part of who I am.
Everyday I have to check my forgiveness,
for the one who originally wounded and maimed my soul,
and for the ones along lifes path
who unwittingly kicked at my wounds,
and scorned my tenderness.

Everyday I have to chase away the shadows of yesterday,
and begin the day anew- with beautiful thoughts.
Many times I awaken from disturbing dreams;
Most of the really scary ones have faded, but I still dream
of being rejected, unloved, unwanted, unworthy;
But I’ve learned to thank them for the what they show me;
They guide me to understand what positive affirmations I need to write.

And I remind myself anew, out loud,
in ink, in voice, in mind, in Spirit:

freesoul

YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!
YOU ARE LOVEABLE!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
IT IS SAFE TO BE ALIVE!
YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING!
YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND EVER!
I LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

 

*If this article has touched your heart, please share it on one of the forums below.
I also look forward to your encouraging comments.

Namaste!

Take Down Your Internal Assassin

“Make sure your worse enemy is not living between your own ears.” 

While sleeping, I had a dream…

A loud, aggressive, hateful woman was walking down the street alongside a sidewalk I was walking on. Following her was a group of defeated humans- some were being led to their assassination, others had weapons and were obeying her commands. She herself had a small handgun- and so did I. (we both had the same weapon)

They stopped in the street and the people braced their-selves to face their death. I watched in horror from behind a bushy tree, desperate to save them yet terrified of being seen.

Instinctively I knew, that if I could take the woman down, not only would I save the lives of the condemned, but I would set free the soldiers who only obeyed her out of fear. My hands shook as I pulled out my hand gun and checked the barrel to make sure it was loaded.

But the hateful, angry woman’s senses were too keen as her ears perked up to my subtle movements. She demanded I come out from behind the tree. I went to bring my gun up to shoot her, but she was quicker and drew hers up to shoot me. By a twist of fate, her gun did not fire. I took off running, her and the soldiers in hot pursuit behind.

I ran into a building and found a dark room in which to hide. I got my gun ready- aimed to shoot when she came to knock down the door. But I awoke before it happened.

All morning the dream kept coming back to me. I knew a message lay within the visions I had seen. Eventually it became clearer as I contemplated the fact that all characters in a dream usually reflect some part of your inner world.

The Hateful Assassin

Most people have experience with an internal assassin. This is the condemning voice that rattles on inside your head. He or she, gathers all your personas for assassination. She hates them. She has nothing but murder for them. Her hate is a product of deep rooted, unresolved anger. But she is blaming herself- her personas. She is aggressive and cruel.

Your core persona has compassion. Your core persona loves every part of her, even the weak parts, the failed parts, the shadowy dark parts, because they are all part of who she is as a whole. Each persona has offered life-perspective and been with her on her journey. But the angry persona wont have it. She sees them as weak and blames them for all of her misery. Both the assassin and the core have the exact same weapon. Each have the ability to destroy the other. If the assassin overtakes the core, then all that she is will die. But if she is able to outsmart and overtake the assassin, then all of her internal world will be set free.

The core persona is the only one who is equipped to take out the internal assassin. If she does not, the internal assassin will destroy all that she holds dear- all that life is to her. Your internal assassin will show no mercy.

assassinWe all have a responsibility to rescue our selves from our own internal assassin. As in the dream, she is powerful and is backed by an arsenal of armed soldiers that do her bidding. We may be frightened, weak, outnumbered, overpowered; we made need to find a dark room to hide and get our thoughts together and our ammunition prepared and ready for use.

It will only take one bullet properly aimed. It only takes us positioning ourselves right, aiming, and pulling the trigger. If we can give that internal assassin that one death blow, all can be free and unite in joy as one.

The loyalties of your inner persona are not to the assassin, but to YOU! Do not let fear overcome your resolve to be the hero of your own life. Do not allow that internal assassin to go on any further with her hateful, destructive ways.

What will take her down? What is the one bullet, the one gun that will wipe her out? What is the position we must take? Remove yourself from her aim, get out your gun, postition yourself to fire and wait for her to come to you. Your ammunition is…

LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE OF ALL THAT YOU ARE! freedom1

Look in the mirror and say to your SELF, with every ounce of passion and courage you have remaining within you-

“(Your NAME)- I am your BEST friend . I got your back! You are not alone! You are AWESOME. You are a valuable and beautiful soul. You deserve to be here and to live life to the fullest. I love and accept you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!” 

Those are powerful bullets. Aim and begin shooting!

Take out that internal assassin. Set your soul free!!!

Much love…

Are You Being Disrespected and Bullied?

how people treat youOne of the greatest signs of maturity is the ability to show due respect to people and the realization that all of life is precious and none of us are in a position to judge other peoples lives. Real maturity is not an age, but an inner wisdom – a plateau where you no longer feel the need to fix others, and you realize others are not responsible for fixing you. Maturity is taking responsibility for our own lives, emotions, and responses to life- you quit blaming and finding fault with everyone else, realizing that you are no better and no worse.

Immature people gossip, complain, and find fault with others. Immature people can be bullies overtly and covertly. Some are loud and aggressive and some play subtle games, so subtle that they sometimes are not even fully aware of the games they are playing with other people.

Bullying takes on many forms. Subtle bullying can be smart-ass comments about others, leaving a particular person out of your circle while feeling superior to them, and spreading rumors and ill opinions of them. One of the cruelest forms of bullying is indifference- treating someone like they don’t even exist.

One way you can know you are being bullied is when your personal boundaries are being stepped over and you are being ostracized for not conforming to the person’s/people’s expectations of you. When you are not sure of someone’s actions toward you and you feel uncomfortable with their expectations and/or treatment of you, ask yourself if you would ever treat them the way they are treating you. If the answer is a firm no, then you can be sure that your boundaries are being violated and you are not being properly respected. You are dealing with immaturity.

bitterness

The best way to handle it is to kindly let them know that what they are doing is not okay with you, and ask them to please stop. If they are mature and respectful, they will be glad you were open and honest with them. But if they cannot show you the same respect that you show them, then it may be necessary to put distance between you and them. Others may not understand why you had to put that space there, and they may even judge you harshly; but again, that is their issue not yours. A mature person, if they really cared, would just inquire into what the problem may be, but immature people judge and gossip and listen to ill-reports of others and believe them.

Take a good firm stand and know in your heart, that their ill-treatment is about them and their immaturity and really has nothing to do with you. Your sweet disposition possibly made you and easy target, but that does not have to be compromised in order to let others know you will not tolerate anything less than the respect that is due to any person.

Walk away

You may not fit the mold of their paradigm, they may not agree with your life-style, thinking or choices, but that does not give them the liberty to be disrespectful to you.

Sadly enough, there will be those in your life that will never grow up. They will reach a ripe old age with a bad, disrespectful attitude toward those that they do not agree with. You will look over your past history with them and lament in your heart over the fact that no matter how you tried, it was never “good enough.”

There comes a time when we need to let them go- a time to “absolutely and utterly walk away.” Sometimes it helps to commemorate that decision with a little ritual. One that I have found that helps is to find a quiet place where you can be meditative and reflect. Then, mentally place the person/people that you no longer want in your life in a boat. Bless them- wish the best for them and send them down the river and out into the vast ocean, never to be seen again. Even if you will continue to “see” them keep this picture in your mind. You are finished. They have chose to devalue you, and you have chose to let them go.

Life is about choices. Regain your dignity and peace of mind. Let the haters go on their way without letting their hate attach itself to you. If necessary, you can even take all the ill-feelings you may feel towards them, write them on paper then find a river and tear it to pieces and send the ill-feelings with them.

Be set free!

Namaste!

Making Meaningful Connections

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All human misery stems from disconnection.
Pain is physical, mental or emotional suffering at varying intensities. Pain tells us something is out of balance and even life threatening.
Misery is extreme distress, and wretchedness of conditions or circumstances and definitely carries the component of pain.

Humans are designed for connection.
The only thing that connects us with God and with one another is love. Love is the only connecting energy in the universe. Everything that steers us away from love- even to the extreme of hatred, is disconnecting. Without love we drift away from God- our source- and from one another.

In order to connect with somebody in love, you have to put your full attention on them.
Connection takes attention with admiration- not agitation.
So many people are striving to connect with someone, but they are agitated, either about that person or about something else that is going on in their life. This agitation keeps them from their real and important focus, which is the person they are endeavoring to connect with. What they need instead is admiration.

When you focus on anything or anyone with admiration and love, you are going to make a connection.
Admiration is a feeling of wonder, pleasure and approval.
Most of us have relationships that we want to improve- relationships with spouse, child, friend, coworker, God, or even self!
Try focusing on the one you need better connection with, with admiration and love.

Focus! Admire! Love!

Key ingredients to real connection.