Do you want change?
- “Promote what you love rather than bashing what you hate.” Whatever you focus on is where your energy and time are being spent; and what you give your energy and time to, will increase. For example, perhaps you want your relationship with your spouse to improve- you want more romance, more attention and such. If your focus is on the lack of those things within the relationship, then the lack will increase. Instead, focus on what is right about the relationship and how you can add more richness to it.
Another example may be a societal change you want to see. Perhaps gun-control is a deep concern for you. Maybe you are worried that your right to bear arms is being threatened. Focus on the reasons why bearing arms is a good idea, rather than on what will happen if you are “disarmed.” Give your time, attention and energy to promoting gun-safety and responsibility rather than bashing those that oppose guns.
- “Be the change that you want to see.” Feel and express yourself as if you are already enjoying the state of change you desire. When a love-relationship is romantic and passionate, you may smile more often, do extra little things for your special someone, dress a little sharper and wear cologne. Playing the part is a good place to start!
Someone who desires to retain the right to bear arms will simply bear arms, and practice safety and responsibility, being that example for others to see it is possible.
- Walk a mile in the oppositions shoes. Take their position for a while. Listen to their reasoning. When we just shake our fist and declare our position is the right position, we get absolutely nowhere. It only fuels the opposing side. No matter how right we believe we may be, there is another side to the story and we need to have a good understanding of it and respect for those who have opposing views.
This is especially true in relationships. Many times family members lose their closeness because they take liberties that they would not take with a stranger. They feel because they are family they can just push their weight around and say exactly what they think with little consideration of the other’s feelings and views. Not only does this not help to bring someone to your point of view, it drives a wedge between you and your loved one that may never be able to be repaired.
This is seen in parent/child relationships quite often. A child begins so show his independent thinking and it does not line up with what the parent believes to be right; the parent has a knee-jerk reaction and tries to plow out the unwanted thinking without ever trying to understand why their child has come to that conclusion. If you won’t listen in order to truly understand someone, they most certainly are not going to hear what you have to say, because they know in their heart you have no idea what you’re talking about. You have not even taken the time to hear and understand them.
Many of today’s issues have fierce opposing views; abortion, immunizations, religious freedom, sexual orientation, etc… these all have very strong arguments on both sides; Taking time to thoroughly understand where the other side is coming from and not just bashing them because they do not see it like you do, is essential to finding a real solution that everyone can work with. Calling people names like stupid, evil and fanatical will never bring someone to see your point of view. When you are really willing to respectfully listen to and understand, with empathy, their point of view, then doors will open for you to be understood as well.
It is then that we find common ground; it is here that we come to appreciate the fact that we are all human, just wanting to feel safe, secure and happy in this world we are currently experiencing. Taking an arrogant, mocking, superior position will never build bridges. There is nothing about any of us that is superior to someone else. We may be more learned in a certain area, but that doesn’t make us superior to another human being.
4. Make sure the change you desire to see is for the benefit of all involved. Whether you call it karma or reaping what you sow, or you get back what you put in, or “you made the bed now sleep in it,” the point is, do not misuse your personal power to change as a tool of manipulation. Be considerate of all life.
5. Be grateful. Morning, noon and night, as often and you think about it, give thanks continually. There is always something we can find in every situation to be thankful for. Whenever you find yourself feeding the negative monster or bashing what you hate, the quickest and surest remedy is to start naming to yourself all that you have to be thankful for in that given moment.
These five steps are powerful and can evoke the change that you desire to see in any situation. Whether it is a relationship, a personal need or a societal condition, by diligently practicing these steps you will begin to see improvement and the light of hope shining bright on the horizon.