Trying to Get it Right

A Poem I wrote today about the struggle in trying to get something right!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trying to Get it Right
Written by: Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

I heard you the first time
and tried to get it right
But my memory and my will
Got into a fight
My will it won the battle
and overtook my might

Your earnest plea the next time
Made my memory strong
I made a resolution
Not to get it wrong
But my resolution vanquished
Beneath the pressing throng

The punishment convinced me
N’er let my focus stray
To do my duty faithfully
Let nothing dim my way
But boredom slowed my footsteps
Daydreams set me to play

Your smile was refreshing
As you explained to me
The hows and whats and whys
And then you set me free
Right or wrong or not at all
Was now a choice for me

I heard you the last time
But now I understood
I didn’t have to try this time
I knew I surely would
For my will was now the Master
Of the right way for my good!

Who is Responsible for All the Suffering in the World?

My diet today is approximate 90% vegan… I believe this video, along with others I have recently watched will take me to 100%
 
We have so many choices in our country and so much to sift through and decide. We have access to so many types of foods. Anymore, I can’t even purchase meat or eggs without images of the suffering I am now so aware of going though my head.
 
When my kids were little we raised chickens for eggs. One time we decided to order some quick growing broilers for meat… much more humane than what we were learning goes on in factory farming right? 
That flock of baby chicks grew so quick and so unnaturally fat they could barely walk. Never-the-less, they were living, feeling animals that ran after us like a brood of happy children whenever we were outside, hoping it was feeding time.
The day came when we were to slaughter them. I had a Russian friend of mine, who raised chickens for meat since she was a young girl, come over to help us with the process. We also had another family, had gone in on the cost of raising them, join us for the big event.
One by one the chickens heads were chopped off. Each one of us were offered an opportunity to chop of a head, taking turns. I refused to do any killing, but tried to look brave and tough. I sensed the anxiety in the other chickens as they awaited their fate.
After they stopped flopping around, we dipped their bodies in boiling hot water and removed their beautiful feathers. The smell was repulsive and lingered with me for weeks afterwards. It took me about a month before I could even eat the meat.
Yes, the chicken broth was deep colored rich with the nutrients meant to keep the chicken healthy life.
I solaced myself with the thought that at least they were “humanely” raised and slaughtered. But the reality is, what part of “slaughter” is humane?
 
It was all a learning experience. Most my family and friends will roll their eyes at these thoughts and say I am too fanatical or too sensitive.
I don’t really care about that anymore.
I’m not saying that it is just plain wrong to eat meat. But I am becoming aware of what our meat consumption is doing to our planet and of the immense suffering going on and the difference some clear education and a few changes can make for myself and others.
 
We say we want world peace. We say we want suffering to cease. But where, when, and how is any of that going to take place if when people bring out the truth and common sense they continue to be criticized and/or ostracized from society?
 
How can things change in any arena of discord, if all we do is stand around and make fun of each other? When have smart-ass remarks  anybody anywhere. As a whole the world is severely suffering. And why? So our personal nest isn’t ruffled? So we can continue to indulge our senses and ignore the price that is paid to do so?
 
It’s not just about veganism and animal cruelty; Its also about world hunger, slave labor, child pornography, the Holocaust of abortion;
It’s about devaluing life.
Its about apathy. We are each responsible for our part.
 
I am responsible for my part. I am responsible every time I buy eggs and cheese- for the health issues they cause, for the deception and oppression of the pharmaceutical companies continuing to have power over us, for the blatant abuse and slaughter of billions of animals. I am responsible every time I purchase products from countries who utilize child labor. I am responsible for purchasing products from companies that sexually exploit women, children and even men. I am responsible when I form opinions not based on personal open and honest research, but on media-madness, and peer pressure.
I am responsible every time I pull down the blinders, close my ears and shut my eyes because the truth means I need to make a change.
 
Who is responsible for all the suffering in the world?
Not some invisible God in the sky,
But you and I, just you and I
Who is responsible for all the tears being shed?
Don’t point to the other guy
Cause it’s you and I, just you and I
Everyday we are making choices
To close our ears or hear the rising voices
We’re either part of the problem or the solution
Take some time to think about your contribution
Who is responsible for so much corruption?
Not some politician way up high;
But it’s you and I, just you and I
Who is responsible for all the injustice?
It’s not the lawyer on the sly
But you and I, just you and I
Do not believe the lie of the hour
That it’s too late and give away your power
Do not idly wait for our destruction
Use your life for positive reconstruction
Who will change the world and make it a better place?
Not some big dictator up in the sky
But you and I just you and I
Who is responsible to end all war and hate?
Not the devil standing by,
But you and I, just you and I!
Written by Elizabeth A. Van Cleve
10/22/2016

What is RIGHT with Me!?

improved_compressed

When someone else comes against us, discourages us, rejects us, misunderstands us, makes fun of us, breaks up with us, or is just plain mean to us, after grappling through the initial blow and shock of what just happened, more often than not, we start to ask ourselves, “What is wrong with me?”

Lets put the breaks on this question right here and now with the simple answer:

NOTHING!!!!

We are not even asking the right question,

“What is wrong with THEM?” 

After all, they are the one with the issue- not you.

They are the one responsible for how they feel and react or respond to ANYTHING in life- including you.

Its time to dump the question of what’s wrong with me and replace it with an empowering, positive question;

“What is RIGHT with me?”

In fact, if you tend to look for what is wrong with you, start making the question “What is RIGHT with me?” a regular habit.

Smile at yourself in the mirror. Ignore all those ugly negative voices that keep trying to pull you into self-condemnation.

Tell that beautiful, one of kind person in the mirror that you are his/her BEST friend and you are going to start telling him/her all the reasons why!

“What is RIGHT with me?”

Now that is a question worth meditating on and answering!!!

Have an awesome day!

 

Why Are They Rejecting Me?

Rejection

One of the most painful human experiences is that of rejection. This is because we are all interconnected and love and acceptance is a primal need.

Rejection is difficult to deal with for anyone and the difficulty increases when it comes to close friends and family, the ones we feel most connected to.

Their are both overt and covert ways of rejecting someone.
An example of an overt rejection is someone outright making fun you or telling you in some way that they do not like something about you.

Covert rejection is more subtle and deceitful.
We feel it inwardly, but outwardly the family and/or friends we feel rejected by act as if they are accepting us; yet, something about their energy or their little subtle remarks to us, tell us that they do not accept us. We may feel confused, frustrated and many times we mercilessly blame ourselves.

The law of attraction states that like attracts like.
When we are striving to raise our positive vibrations, continual, subtle feelings of rejection by those we love can derail us over and again until we feel like giving up.

Powerful exercises to help you overcome the negative emotions rejection evokes:

The following exercises will empower you and help you to move past those negative, hurtful feelings of rejection and onto creating your life of love, joy and full and unconditional self-acceptance.
(The exercises should either be done verbally out-loud or written down somewhere)

Part 1

  • Acknowledge how you feel. E.g. I feel rejected, unloved, hurt…
  • Locate the feeling-pain in your physical body. Talk about it as you feel it move through your body. Breath deeply, blowing out the negative emotions as you write or speak. E.g. It feels like somebody punched me in the gut. The pain is moving through up into my chest around my heart and lungs. (deep breath, slowly release) the energy is shifting. It isn’t as painful now. It is up in my shoulders sort of tingly. (breath deep move and shake the energy around and out of your shoulders) I am blowing it out and I am starting to feel better.

Do this exercise until you feel better. Do not add the reason why or the story behind it. Just feel the energy move through and out of your body. When you have come to a better feeling place, breath a few more deep cleansing breaths while stretching your arms and legs and body out.

Part 2

Why are they rejecting me?

It all has to do with energy and vibrations. Obviously we are attracting the energy of rejection into our vibration. So it stands to reason that somewhere we have adopted the belief that we are not acceptable, or we are unlovable. Try and think back as far as possible to the very first time you felt this feeling or rejection.

E.g. My first feeling of rejection came very young when I was born to a Newly-wed mother and father who had both been previously married and divorced and had other children from their first union. Due to the confusion and pain of being separated from their biological father and now disciplined in severe ways by their step father, my older siblings felt very threatened by my presence. Most of the time they wouldn’t let me play with them. I was even injured a few times by their rejection. Once they accidentally slammed my finger in the door and the tip of my finger was severed. Another time my sister had a neighbor boy punch me in the stomach. I passed out while walking home crying. There is no blame here on them, just the way the energy of rejection was already in place and going through our vortex. I would eventually reject my younger siblings at times as well. It was the energy cycle we were immersed in. 

Lets look at the energetic side to my story:

I was born into a very negative vortex. Because I was born into a family of people that were already deeply wounded by rejection, they were not able to receive my love and affection. In fact, my vulnerability made them outright angry because it reminded them of their own defenselessness. Consequently they rejected and wounded me too. I took into my vortex the energetic imprint of unlovable and unacceptable, and began to attract experiences into my vortex of reality that matched it. I can look over my life and see a painful trail of rejections.

Consider the people who originally rejected you.
What was their energetic imprint? How did this affect your vortex?

Take a little time to comfort your child-self that was originally wounded.
Help him or her to see that it was because the people around her were not able to take in the love and affection he or she offered and it really was not about her, but them. Comfort that child.

Lets add a little deeper perspective to it now as an adult.

When your energy is about healing, love, authenticity and honesty, there are many unhealed people that these positive energy forces will clash with.

Consider this:

If someone feels safe in conformity, your honesty and authenticity will feel threatening to them. If someone is too fearful to face their own shadows, your love and healing energy will feel threatening to them. When someone feels threatened, they generate defenses and hatred towards the one that feels threatening.

An animal senses fear as a threat. Your fear of rejection will also amplify the problem. Because fear is a very negative emotion, it only generates negative vibrations. But as you clear those fears through understanding energetic imprinting and cleansing the wounds, you will feel rejection less and less and begin to love and accept yourself fully. Joy will ensue!

Repeat the above exercises as often as needed.

Practice part 1 whenever you are sideswiped with those feelings of rejection. Move the energy through. Do not allow it to continue rolling around in your body and mind. Deal with it.

Practice part 2 until you fully understand the cause and effect of your own energetic imprint. Knowledge is power. Once you understand what we are really dealing with at an energetic level, you now have the tools to let that negative energy be reabsorbed into pure positive energy- send it into the energetic vortex of reality- it was never really about you.

Now you can move forward in creating a life of happiness and pure JOY!

Hi Vibes for the Wounded Soul; the struggle is real!

contemplation2

As a child, the mental and emotional abuse I endured was almost unbearable.
There was some physical abuse as well, in the form of corporal punishment that never matched the “crime.”
Most of the time I had no idea what I had done wrong, but my father seemed very adept at pulling heinous crimes out of the hat for an excuse to unleash his own unhealed wounds on his children.
The alcohol consumption only worsened the amount and intensity of his chastisements.

Horror… terror…dread…
How does one describe being a child of a belligerent drunk?

I have flashes of hiding under the bed, or in the closet,
covering my ears so as to shut out the screams of my siblings,
my heart pounding into my throat-
hoping beyond hope he would not find me.
Who knows the hours I remained there at times, terrified to come out.

But it was the emotional abuse that was the most damaging-
the angry and insulting slurs,
beating me down, insult by insult,
like a worthless piece of existence.

Being raised by a father figure-
the one you looked up to for love and acceptance,
to cheer you on,
to protect you from the harshness of life,
to give you strength and courage…
left scars that are blatantly visible in my everyday life…
Scars from always being watched by a condemning eye,
relentlessly ridiculed and punished,
scars of never being enough-
never kind enough, good enough, obedient enough…
And those scars don’t go away.
Some of them pierce me everyday,
cast an ugly shadow over my spirit,
get in the way of the perfect life I long to live…

I want to say to you,
I understand that the struggle is real.
You are not alone!
I get it!

High vibes life has been the antidote to my deep depression,
to low self-esteem, to fear of waking up,
and to fear of dying.

High Vibes Life has taught me…
That I can create something NEW!
I can paint my own rainbow
and make my world beautiful!

It has not been easy.
Everyday I have to practice.
Everyday the scars and wounds stare me in the face,
and everyday I have to kiss them good morning
welcome them once again as part of who I am.
Everyday I have to check my forgiveness,
for the one who originally wounded and maimed my soul,
and for the ones along lifes path
who unwittingly kicked at my wounds,
and scorned my tenderness.

Everyday I have to chase away the shadows of yesterday,
and begin the day anew- with beautiful thoughts.
Many times I awaken from disturbing dreams;
Most of the really scary ones have faded, but I still dream
of being rejected, unloved, unwanted, unworthy;
But I’ve learned to thank them for the what they show me;
They guide me to understand what positive affirmations I need to write.

And I remind myself anew, out loud,
in ink, in voice, in mind, in Spirit:

freesoul

YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!
YOU ARE LOVEABLE!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
IT IS SAFE TO BE ALIVE!
YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING!
YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND EVER!
I LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

 

*If this article has touched your heart, please share it on one of the forums below.
I also look forward to your encouraging comments.

Namaste!

The Eye of the Universe

I wanted that bean burrito
with warm refried beans
and mounds of sharp cheddar cheese oozing over them
I craved that bean burrito
topped with dollops of creamy white sourcream
and a handful of salty black olives
I stirred a small pot of warm the beans in mounting anticipation
proud of choosing to eat what my body seem to desire
glad that I possessed all the makings at hand

I pushed you away-
Resolutely!
Because I needed that bean burrito…
Or did I?

I pulled out my block of Tillamock cheese,
and sliced off just a small piece to pop in my mouth
So salty and savory, so good!

But you returned-
Resolutely!
Your large, sweet, deep brown eye
the eye that held the soul of the universe
piercing through decades of branding and conditioning
your eye found mine
Spanning oceans of culture and tradition
Soaring above mountains of corporate mind-rape

Slave holders, soldiers, prison guards- anyone that subjects another life knows…
cows eye1AVOID THE EYE- do not make eye contact
But your eyes drew mine-
contact was made
And they were crying
Blazing yet another “Trail of Tears”
left in the wake
of human gluttony and apathy

My soul wrestled within as the skin of my hand held the block of cheese-
This was no longer simple; one by one my arguments were extinguished
in this historical river of tears…
The cheese was no longer a beautifully wrapped, sensual morsel of deliciousness;
but an ensign of participation- to partake of this simple pleasure
Was to remain in the battalion of apathy and gluttony-
Was to partake in inhumane treatment of life!
It was to refuse the eye that bore witness to inconceivable amount of suffering

I had looked into the eye with such helplessness and despair.
Amidst a multitude of people, smiling, laughing, intrigued
People roaming about in freedom
eating, drinking, enjoying entertainment and food to the full
Holding their sacred children near
Mothers nuzzling their babes at their breasts
offering the nourishment perfectly designed for them

All the while you were held in the tight confines of a small barred-in cell
a machine relentlessly tugging on your breasts
that were meant for your babies
The crowds jostled about in their merriment, gawking on, avoiding your eyes…

Were the tears that ran from your eyes and the desperate pleading gaze
effected by a surging pain from the machine?
Or by a broken heart of your lost infant?
Or, perhaps by both?

I could bear it no longer- the farm at the fair.
I could not set you free, and I could not watch you suffer.
So I left…

But you have not left me
Your eye, streaked with tears of sorrow, burn on in my soul.

I wanted that bean burrito…
or did I?

Perhaps all I really crave now, is a bowl of warm beans,
spiced with a little hot-sauce
topped with a few chopped onions
and to cry, for you, for me, for us…

for the eye that held the universe,
and spoke into my soul
of tragedy so monstrous
Born of deadened hearts

The eye has awakened me

Stay awake my soul!

How Can I Help Those Who Feel Lost?

flora (3)

When grappling with how to reach out and help others that may be struggling through darkness, ask yourself three questions-

  1. Who inspired you to believe in yourself, to strive for a better life and/or to have great faith?
  2. Why did they inspire you?
  3. What did they do or say?

Then ask yourself the next three questions:

  1. What has broken you or caused you to lose faith in yourself, God or humanity?
  2. Who played a vital role in breaking you?
  3. What did they say, do or not do that may have been instrumental in pushing you over the edge?

Now you have some insight into what heals and what damages…

Making Meaningful Connections

connections1

All human misery stems from disconnection.
Pain is physical, mental or emotional suffering at varying intensities. Pain tells us something is out of balance and even life threatening.
Misery is extreme distress, and wretchedness of conditions or circumstances and definitely carries the component of pain.

Humans are designed for connection.
The only thing that connects us with God and with one another is love. Love is the only connecting energy in the universe. Everything that steers us away from love- even to the extreme of hatred, is disconnecting. Without love we drift away from God- our source- and from one another.

In order to connect with somebody in love, you have to put your full attention on them.
Connection takes attention with admiration- not agitation.
So many people are striving to connect with someone, but they are agitated, either about that person or about something else that is going on in their life. This agitation keeps them from their real and important focus, which is the person they are endeavoring to connect with. What they need instead is admiration.

When you focus on anything or anyone with admiration and love, you are going to make a connection.
Admiration is a feeling of wonder, pleasure and approval.
Most of us have relationships that we want to improve- relationships with spouse, child, friend, coworker, God, or even self!
Try focusing on the one you need better connection with, with admiration and love.

Focus! Admire! Love!

Key ingredients to real connection.

Add a Little Sparkle to Your Life

Joy

The sparkles of life are the moments- the experiences of pure pleasure; it is that exquisite dinner, that breathtaking sunset, that intense and connected time with a loved one. They are the moments that make up our fondest memories. They are what makes life worth living.

We seek for love, happiness, companionship and experiences, all because these feel good. It therefore stands to reason that when something feels good to go with it, and when something feels bad, leave it. Joy, happiness, love- all feel good. They are the spark of life. Here are some ways to help create more sparkle in your life:

  1. Count your blessings: Begin NOW! Look in your immediate surroundings and circumstances for what feels good. There may be a lot to see or a little, but find it! Focus on it! Think about why it feels good. What senses does it evoke?
  2. Upgrade your experience: Ask yourself, is there anyway I can make these feel good areas feel even better? Example: I love this hot cup of coffee in my hands. It smells wonderful, and is warming to my cold fingers. Perhaps a shake of cinnamon and little cream would make it even better? Can I take 5-10 minutes and sit somewhere to really enjoy it? Maybe even outside listening to the birds, or while reading a small passage from a book I love. Maybe sipping coffee with a friend or spouse is even better?
  3. Remove the Irritants: Are there any distractions or irritations that I can remove now? Do not get caught up in what you can’t do anything about, but rather, just remove or change what you are able. Perhaps you are sitting in the living room and you just clear your coffee table, dust it off and light a candle. Maybe a little child is hampering you. Can you distract him/her for a moment while you enjoy your coffee?
  4. Try new things: Go new places, taste foods you’ve never had, listen to different music, play a new game. If you were a tour guide in your town, where would you take tourists? Are there places nearby you have not yet visited? New experiences can often be exhilarating. The more you experience, the more things you will find that feels good.
  5. Write it down! Keep an ongoing list on a notepad that you can quickly access- perhaps in your notes on your phone or a small paper pad you can keep with you.  Just reading your list regularly will evoke better feelings. Whenever something feels really good, add it to your list.  Incorporate as many of these listed things into your life regularly. Here is a sample list of things that feel really good to me:
  • Laughter
  • Yoga
  • Hot baths
  • Massaging essential oils into my body
  • Puppy time- hugging and petting my dog
  • Brunches with my girlfriends
  • Sipping on hot Chai tea
  • Laying in the sun
  • Warm sand between my toes
  • Swimming
  • Spending time with my grand-daughter
  • Chatting with my children
  • Opening windows and hearing the birds in the mornings
  • Popping a large bowl of buttery popcorn and watching Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter
  • Browsing shops in newly visited towns
  • Outdoor picnics
  • Flying a kite
  • Planting flowers and veggies we love
  • Smelling roses, violets, Lilacs and honey suckle

The more personal and detailed it is, the better. With each thing you add to the list, it should evoke a pleasurable, peaceful, joyful emotion.

Sometimes you will add something to your list and notice that it doesn’t really feel good. Explore this. Perhaps you are doing something that you feel is supposed to feel good, but for you it doesn’t. For example, maybe spending time with your grown children actually feels stressful but you feel like it should be pleasant. The best thing to do is to acknowledge your real feelings, and ask yourself why you feel the way you do about it.  Maybe you stress too much over pleasing them or perhaps they have issues you can do nothing about; but you really desire to be able to enjoy your time with them. This would be an area that is subtly sabotaging your happiness. Meditate and visualize how you wish the relationship was as if it is. Hold this vision as much as your are able, and remove this from your list for now, until it is genuinely something you enjoy. This does not imply that you remove them from your life necessarily but rather you are recognizing what really makes you happy and what doesn’t. Honesty is key to any real growth.

Unhappiness is often because we are not living consciously and not pursuing what feels good. Unless we can really know what feels good to us, we cannot pursue it.

If you do not feel good, you will not be happy. And you will not feel good if you are not seeking, finding and applying to your life those aspects that make you feel good. Its okay for life to be pleasurable. Its okay to add a little sparkle to your day!

 

Migraine Mystery

No matter how much time and effort you put into elevating your vibrations, life will at times deal you some low-vibes. It is at these times we wait for the storm to pass, accepting and working through it the best we are able. This poem is born out of some severe migraines. I have learned through these times of tormenting pain, that migraines and other forms of pain have a root system that goes way beyond a physical affliction!

The MigraineThe Migraine

Red, orange, red- like lava slowly erupting;

Agonizingly painful, burning everything in its path.

It’s current sweeping over all, leaving nothing untouched.

“Hot” sounds it like ice melting in spring sunshine;

Lava embers sear, and when it cools, only rocks, barrenness and desolation remain.

My eyes pierce the dimly darkened night;

All is still when you can hear the hum of the fan.

Stiffly I crouch at the edge of my bed, while the night’s visions fade away into the fog.

Where is the little white miracle- washed down with water- that takes away all pain?

Will it work tonight?

Or will miracles cease to exist as I writhe under this merciless whip?

Lava burns it’s way through all defenses;

Pacing the four corners of my home, strength becomes a byword.

The judgments of this world show no empathy, as I wrestle to prove my presence in the now…

and my freedom from the relentless images of yesterday’s torture and heartache.

The world is like a vortex full of eyes that stare in wait;

 I hear a voiceless cry in the searing lava of tormenting pain.

“This too shall pass…yes, it will pass” 

But this moment feels eternal- when unbearable pain opens the locks, one by one,

into the heartache so tightly hidden away.