“NO” tends to have such a negative stigma to it, and yet it is possibly the most powerful word in our vocabulary when we learn to use it regularly in our lives. You see in this world of duality we have both YES and NO- and together they are called CHOICE! As we move toward wholeness and well-being, it is imperative that we become very cognizant of our choices and choose deliberately and wisely those things which heal, uplift, bring peace, love, joy, happiness, and fun- and sometimes those things that are difficult in order to help ourselves or others out of loneliness, despair or even danger.
“NO” needs to be heavily cultivated in our lives in order to make room to say YES to our true desires, wants and needs. It’s important to decipher accurately what you are responsible for and what you are not responsible for. In order to bring NO into your comfort zone, you have to come to the realization that:
- You are not here to be the savior of the world.
- You are not the rescuer of other peoples lives.
- You are not responsible for other peoples choices, other peoples feelings or emotions, other peoples opinions, and other peoples journey here.
We can call this list false responsibility. “Other people” includes family and close friends. Even our children, once they are of age to make their own decisions independently, we need to let them go and make their own choices and be responsible for their own journey, feelings, mistakes and progress. We gave them all we were able and now its time for them to journey on and learn as we have learned- through trial and error, and through all of life experiences- the good and the difficult.
The next time you are asked to be somewhere, to bring something, to do something, to go somewhere, to help out, care for, etc… weather asked verbally or by assumption, if you are not in the habit of saying no when you need to, then do not answer right away. Take time consider what your responsibilities truly are, whether or not you want to say yes and why. Think about the obligation that saying yes will entail and if you have the energy, time, strength or desire to make that obligation.
When you say NO, you need not offer an explanation. I bite my tongue, if needs be, to keep from explaining myself to others. I don’t need to do that.
*Just remember that once you give a reason why you are saying no, that opens the door for argument and for the other person to persuade you otherwise. When you are endeavoring to build healthy boundaries “NO” is one of your best friends!!!