“Defeat the demons of self-doubt and self-loathing by being your own hero/heroine of self-compassion.”
― Amy Leigh Mercree, The Compassion Revolution: 30 Days of Living from the Heart
No one can feel loved outside of compassion. To be compassionate is to show mercy, tenderness, warmth and sympathy to another. But what about when it comes to ourselves? It needs to begin there. You will not show anyone else more compassion than you show yourself. You may put on an act of compassion, but it will not come from the heart. In order to show genuine compassion to the world at large, you have to go inside and be compassionate with yourself FIRST!
The following are seven simple ways to be more self-compassionate:
- Rest- Give yourself permission to sleep more hours. Whenever you are able- skip the alarm clock and allow yourself the luxury of sleeping until you naturally awaken. Too many of us demand so much of ourselves and we are worn out and tired. Have some self-compassion and give yourself plenty of hours to rest. If you had a child that was really tired, would you continue to push that child to get more done? Of course not. You would want to tuck them into a warm bed and watch them happily drift off into sleepy land.
- HUG YOURSELF- Yep! That is what I said. Give yourself a great big, loving bear hug like you would the most dearest person to your heart. It really does feel compassionate and wonderful. Wrap your arms around yourself and rub your back, rock back and forth, smile and say, “I love you so much!” Don’t worry about feeling silly. No one is watching. 🙂
- Massage yourself- Give your body a deep, loving massage- especially those areas that you tend to be critical of. I like to rub my feet and thank them for carrying all the weight around all day. Each toe is important. Sometimes you don’t realize how important every part of your body is until you lose or break a part. Rub your stomach. Tune into it. I thank my uterus for carrying and nurturing my babies. I tune into my stomach and have compassion, sometimes even apologize for not being more careful about what I put into it. Wherever your body feels a little unseen, unappreciated and neglected, spend some time tuning into it, gently massaging it and sending it love.
- Praise Yourself- Look in the mirror, into your eyes and say something like, “Hi (name) ! I love you. You are doing a great job. I am so proud of you.” Say it and really mean it.
- Give yourself space- Whenever someone is going through a difficult situation we instinctively know that they need SPACE! Have some compassion on yourself by providing yourself with a little space to reflect. Set a timer for an hour a day and let everyone know you are 100% unavailable for the next hour and use that time to write in your journal, and to do some inner reflection work. Leave your cell phone out. You will come to love this precious hour and may even start giving yourself more time. Inner reflection in invaluable to wisdom, to growth and especially to peace.
- Make yourself a special meal- When we make a special meal for someone else, we do our best to make it delicious, nutritious and pleasing to the eyes. Why do we only do this for others? Why not ourselves? Make one meal a day that is all about treating yourself special. Include it all- the drink, the flowers or beautiful plating. Make it something you would want to take a picture of and share because its so lovely.
- Do something special for your inner child- Quickly pick and age between 1-16. Don’t over think it. Then ask that part of you how she feels. When you have tuned in enough to understand the her need- meet it. If she needs to go out for a fun day, or needs some warm snuggle time or needs some positive affirmation, whatever comes up, think of how you can best meet that need to bring a big smile and confidence to that inner child. Have enough compassion for her to do something about it. Take care of your inner child and you will grow by leaps and bounds!
- VALIDATE!- Be okay with where you are right now in life. This is a journey, not a race, not a competition, not a sacrifice. It is an experience. Every day you experience new sensations, sights, emotions, failures and victories, mistakes and growth. Everyday you are a new person, beginning again. You would never try to help a friend out of a negative emotion by pointing to other people and asking why they cant be more like them. You would never tell a child they are stupid because they haven’t learned what you have learned yet. How cruel would that be? But are you doing that to yourself? Are you putting unreasonable expectations on yourself? Time to re-evaluate this. Life should be fun, exciting, mysterious, and invigorating. Its an experience. No matter what you are going through right at this moment, it’s just part of the ride. It will pass and you will experience new things. Validate yourself by saying out-loud to yourself- “YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE AND IT IS OKAY. ITS ALL GOOD. IT IS WHAT IT IS! JUST LIVE!”
We all have choices everyday to make and those choices need to include our own happiness and well-being. If we drain our reservoir trying to please everyone else, pretty soon not only are we unhappy, but we have nothing to offer anyone else. Let your own cup overflow and then others can partake of what flows out instead of drain whats left. Stop making excuses of why you can’t treat yourself with compassion and start finding the reasons why you can and will.
High Vibes Life is dedicated to helping people learn to genuinely love themselves. We believe self-love is the corner stone to building a happy and fulfilling life.
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