A poem depicting the absurdity in comparing ourselves with others

Journey On…
Written by Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

Don’t ever say-
Because I’m here
You shouldn’t be there
or
Because you’re there
I shouldn’t be here
It makes no sense

Would you ever say-
Because I am twenty
You shouldn’t be two
Because I love red
You shouldn’t love blue
or
Because you’re a teacher
It’s not okay I’m a student
Because I’m carefree
It”s not okay that you are prudent
Because I’m in the east
It’s not okay you’re in the west
Because you do it better
It’s not okay I do my best
Because I see the sunset
It’s not okay you see it rise
or
Because I slipped and stumbled
It’s not okay that you were wise?

See how ridiculous
this thinking seems to be?
When I cannot be you
And you cannot be me!

Do you ever say-
Because you’re over there
I should not be here
or
Because I’m over here
You should not be there?
It makes no sense

One should never say-
Because my skin is black
Your skin should not be white
Because I think it’s wrong
You cannot be right
Because my body’s whole
It’s not okay you cannot walk
Because I know the language
It’s not okay you cannot talk
Because I am straight
It’s not okay that you are gay
Because you have to work
It’s not okay that I should play
or
Because you are happy
It’s not okay that I am sad
Because they got it good
It’s not okay I’ve got it bad
Because you are you
It’s not okay that I am me
Because I have a vision
It’s not okay that you do not see

Because I am here
It’s not okay that you are there
or
Because you are there
It’s not okay that I am here
It makes no sense

Here’s what we should say-

I am here, and
It’s okay that you are there
You are there, and
It’s okay that I am here
I see one way
Because I am here
You see another way
Because you are there
Your journeys yours
My journeys mine
I may be twenty
You may be ninety-nine
You may be a woman
I may be a man
Another may be both
By what they understand
You may live in India
I may live in France
I may be very timid
You may love to dance

One thing is for certain
It’s foolish that we fight
And say you must be wrong
Because I think I’m right
It is what it is, and
We are where we are
And from where I started
I’ve come thus far
So journey on my friend
I wish you all the best
As you travel east, and
I travel west

Cheerio!

How to say NO nicely

 

Just say no

“NO” tends to have such a negative stigma to it, and yet it is possibly the most powerful word in our vocabulary when we learn to use it regularly in our lives. You see in this world of duality we have both YES and NO-  and together they are called CHOICE! As we move toward wholeness and well-being, it is imperative that we become very cognizant of our choices and choose deliberately and wisely those things which heal, uplift, bring peace, love, joy, happiness, and fun- and sometimes those things that are difficult in order to help ourselves or others out of loneliness, despair or even danger.

“NO” needs to be heavily cultivated in our lives in order to make room to say YES to our true desires, wants and needs. It’s important to decipher accurately what you are responsible for and what you are not responsible for. In order to bring NO into your comfort zone, you have to come to the realization that:

  • You are not here to be the savior of the world.
  • You are not the rescuer of other peoples lives.
  • You are not responsible for other peoples choices, other peoples feelings or emotions, other peoples opinions, and other peoples journey here.

We can call this list false responsibility. “Other people” includes family and close friends. Even our children, once they are of age to make their own decisions independently, we need to let them go and make their own choices and be responsible for their own journey, feelings, mistakes and progress. We gave them all we were able and now its time for them to journey on and learn as we have learned- through trial and error, and through all of life experiences- the good and the difficult.

The next time you are asked to be somewhere, to bring something, to do something, to go somewhere, to help out, care for, etc… weather asked verbally or by assumption, if you are not in the habit of saying no when you need to, then do not answer right away. Take time consider what your responsibilities truly are, whether or not you want to say yes and why. Think about the obligation that saying yes will entail and if you have the energy, time, strength or desire to make that obligation.

When you say NO, you need not offer an explanation. I bite my tongue, if needs be, to keep from explaining myself to others. I don’t need to do that.

*Just remember that once you give a reason why you are saying no, that opens the door for argument and for the other person to persuade you otherwise. When you are endeavoring to build healthy boundaries “NO” is one of your best friends!!!

saying no

 

Hi Vibes for the Wounded Soul; the struggle is real!

contemplation2

As a child, the mental and emotional abuse I endured was almost unbearable.
There was some physical abuse as well, in the form of corporal punishment that never matched the “crime.”
Most of the time I had no idea what I had done wrong, but my father seemed very adept at pulling heinous crimes out of the hat for an excuse to unleash his own unhealed wounds on his children.
The alcohol consumption only worsened the amount and intensity of his chastisements.

Horror… terror…dread…
How does one describe being a child of a belligerent drunk?

I have flashes of hiding under the bed, or in the closet,
covering my ears so as to shut out the screams of my siblings,
my heart pounding into my throat-
hoping beyond hope he would not find me.
Who knows the hours I remained there at times, terrified to come out.

But it was the emotional abuse that was the most damaging-
the angry and insulting slurs,
beating me down, insult by insult,
like a worthless piece of existence.

Being raised by a father figure-
the one you looked up to for love and acceptance,
to cheer you on,
to protect you from the harshness of life,
to give you strength and courage…
left scars that are blatantly visible in my everyday life…
Scars from always being watched by a condemning eye,
relentlessly ridiculed and punished,
scars of never being enough-
never kind enough, good enough, obedient enough…
And those scars don’t go away.
Some of them pierce me everyday,
cast an ugly shadow over my spirit,
get in the way of the perfect life I long to live…

I want to say to you,
I understand that the struggle is real.
You are not alone!
I get it!

High vibes life has been the antidote to my deep depression,
to low self-esteem, to fear of waking up,
and to fear of dying.

High Vibes Life has taught me…
That I can create something NEW!
I can paint my own rainbow
and make my world beautiful!

It has not been easy.
Everyday I have to practice.
Everyday the scars and wounds stare me in the face,
and everyday I have to kiss them good morning
welcome them once again as part of who I am.
Everyday I have to check my forgiveness,
for the one who originally wounded and maimed my soul,
and for the ones along lifes path
who unwittingly kicked at my wounds,
and scorned my tenderness.

Everyday I have to chase away the shadows of yesterday,
and begin the day anew- with beautiful thoughts.
Many times I awaken from disturbing dreams;
Most of the really scary ones have faded, but I still dream
of being rejected, unloved, unwanted, unworthy;
But I’ve learned to thank them for the what they show me;
They guide me to understand what positive affirmations I need to write.

And I remind myself anew, out loud,
in ink, in voice, in mind, in Spirit:

freesoul

YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!
YOU ARE LOVEABLE!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
IT IS SAFE TO BE ALIVE!
YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING!
YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND EVER!
I LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

 

*If this article has touched your heart, please share it on one of the forums below.
I also look forward to your encouraging comments.

Namaste!

Are You Being Disrespected and Bullied?

how people treat youOne of the greatest signs of maturity is the ability to show due respect to people and the realization that all of life is precious and none of us are in a position to judge other peoples lives. Real maturity is not an age, but an inner wisdom – a plateau where you no longer feel the need to fix others, and you realize others are not responsible for fixing you. Maturity is taking responsibility for our own lives, emotions, and responses to life- you quit blaming and finding fault with everyone else, realizing that you are no better and no worse.

Immature people gossip, complain, and find fault with others. Immature people can be bullies overtly and covertly. Some are loud and aggressive and some play subtle games, so subtle that they sometimes are not even fully aware of the games they are playing with other people.

Bullying takes on many forms. Subtle bullying can be smart-ass comments about others, leaving a particular person out of your circle while feeling superior to them, and spreading rumors and ill opinions of them. One of the cruelest forms of bullying is indifference- treating someone like they don’t even exist.

One way you can know you are being bullied is when your personal boundaries are being stepped over and you are being ostracized for not conforming to the person’s/people’s expectations of you. When you are not sure of someone’s actions toward you and you feel uncomfortable with their expectations and/or treatment of you, ask yourself if you would ever treat them the way they are treating you. If the answer is a firm no, then you can be sure that your boundaries are being violated and you are not being properly respected. You are dealing with immaturity.

bitterness

The best way to handle it is to kindly let them know that what they are doing is not okay with you, and ask them to please stop. If they are mature and respectful, they will be glad you were open and honest with them. But if they cannot show you the same respect that you show them, then it may be necessary to put distance between you and them. Others may not understand why you had to put that space there, and they may even judge you harshly; but again, that is their issue not yours. A mature person, if they really cared, would just inquire into what the problem may be, but immature people judge and gossip and listen to ill-reports of others and believe them.

Take a good firm stand and know in your heart, that their ill-treatment is about them and their immaturity and really has nothing to do with you. Your sweet disposition possibly made you and easy target, but that does not have to be compromised in order to let others know you will not tolerate anything less than the respect that is due to any person.

Walk away

You may not fit the mold of their paradigm, they may not agree with your life-style, thinking or choices, but that does not give them the liberty to be disrespectful to you.

Sadly enough, there will be those in your life that will never grow up. They will reach a ripe old age with a bad, disrespectful attitude toward those that they do not agree with. You will look over your past history with them and lament in your heart over the fact that no matter how you tried, it was never “good enough.”

There comes a time when we need to let them go- a time to “absolutely and utterly walk away.” Sometimes it helps to commemorate that decision with a little ritual. One that I have found that helps is to find a quiet place where you can be meditative and reflect. Then, mentally place the person/people that you no longer want in your life in a boat. Bless them- wish the best for them and send them down the river and out into the vast ocean, never to be seen again. Even if you will continue to “see” them keep this picture in your mind. You are finished. They have chose to devalue you, and you have chose to let them go.

Life is about choices. Regain your dignity and peace of mind. Let the haters go on their way without letting their hate attach itself to you. If necessary, you can even take all the ill-feelings you may feel towards them, write them on paper then find a river and tear it to pieces and send the ill-feelings with them.

Be set free!

Namaste!

Making Meaningful Connections

connections1

All human misery stems from disconnection.
Pain is physical, mental or emotional suffering at varying intensities. Pain tells us something is out of balance and even life threatening.
Misery is extreme distress, and wretchedness of conditions or circumstances and definitely carries the component of pain.

Humans are designed for connection.
The only thing that connects us with God and with one another is love. Love is the only connecting energy in the universe. Everything that steers us away from love- even to the extreme of hatred, is disconnecting. Without love we drift away from God- our source- and from one another.

In order to connect with somebody in love, you have to put your full attention on them.
Connection takes attention with admiration- not agitation.
So many people are striving to connect with someone, but they are agitated, either about that person or about something else that is going on in their life. This agitation keeps them from their real and important focus, which is the person they are endeavoring to connect with. What they need instead is admiration.

When you focus on anything or anyone with admiration and love, you are going to make a connection.
Admiration is a feeling of wonder, pleasure and approval.
Most of us have relationships that we want to improve- relationships with spouse, child, friend, coworker, God, or even self!
Try focusing on the one you need better connection with, with admiration and love.

Focus! Admire! Love!

Key ingredients to real connection.