Are You Normal?


Normal- Conforming to a standard. Usual. Typical.

When I read the definition of “normal,” I feel a sort of sickening, boredom in the word- like a insipid cup of soup.

Yet, this is what society at large demands from it’s citizens- to be normal. If someone varies from off the normal-path, doctors, psychologists, and a variety of so-called specialist are summoned to figure out why they are not conforming to the given standard, why they are not usual or typical, and even worse, to try and “fix” them- to make them normal.

The reality is, there is no such thing as normal – only conformity. “Normal” is nebulous and relative. Nothing in this world is “abnormal” when given the context of its existence. Many worry about whether or not they are normal, or if their child or someone they love is normal. Why? Does conformity make someone more important? Or does nonconformity devalue a life?

Everything in this world has value in some way. Even those people and things that repel us teach us something about life, love, and what is pleasing verses what is displeasing to us. Every person in your life is a mirror that reflects something about yourself that you can learn from. To demand people to be normal is to put them in cages and chain them. It is to stifle their growth and potential, to rob them of their freedom, and to suck the very essence of life from their soul- a profound love for who they truly are.

The following video is a wonderful example of a young man- who is very normal given the context of his life, and has blessed humanity with a unique and awesome gift. You too, are gifted, talented and unique. YOU are both normal, given the context of your life, and unique- there is no other YOU in this world. Enjoy your beautiful self!

“The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.”
― Paul Farmer

Five Powerful Steps to Evoke Change in Any Situation

Do you want change?

  1. “Promote what you love rather than bashing what you hate.”  Whatever you focus on is where your energy and time are being spent; and what you give your energy and time to, focuswill increase. For example, perhaps you want your relationship with your spouse to improve- you want more romance, more attention and such. If your focus is on the lack of those things within the relationship, then the lack will increase. Instead, focus on what is right about the relationship and how you can add more richness to it.

Another example may be a societal change you want to see. Perhaps gun-control is a deep concern for you. Maybe you are worried that your right to bear arms is being threatened.  Focus on the reasons why bearing arms is a good idea, rather than on what will happen if you are “disarmed.” Give your time, attention and energy to promoting gun-safety and responsibility rather than bashing those that oppose guns.

  1. “Be the change that you want to see.” Feel and express yourself as if you are already enjoying the state of change you desire. When a love-relationship is romantic and passionate, you may smile more often, do extra little things for your special someone, dress a little sharper and wear cologne. Playing the part is a good place to start!

Someone who desires to retain the right to bear arms will simply bear arms, and practice safety and responsibility, being that example for others to see it is possible.

  1. Walk a mile in the oppositions shoes. Take their position for a while. Listen to their reasoning. When we just shake our fist and declare our position is the right position, we get absolutely nowhere. It only fuels the opposing side. No matter how right we believe we may be, there is another side to the story and we need to have a good understanding of it and respect for those who have opposing views.

IndifferenceThis is especially true in relationships. Many times family members lose their closeness because they take liberties that they would not take with a stranger. They feel because they are family they can just push their weight around and say exactly what they think with little consideration of the other’s feelings and views. Not only does this not help to bring someone to your point of view, it drives a wedge between you and your loved one that may never be able to be repaired.

This is seen in parent/child relationships quite often. A child begins so show his independent thinking and it does not line up with what the parent believes to be right; the parent has a knee-jerk reaction and tries to plow out the unwanted thinking without ever trying to understand why their child has come to that conclusion. If you won’t listen in order to truly understand someone, they most certainly are not going to hear what you have to say, because they know in their heart you have no idea what you’re talking about. You have not even taken the time to hear and understand them.

oppositionMany of today’s issues have fierce opposing views; abortion, immunizations, religious freedom, sexual orientation, etc… these all have very strong arguments on both sides; Taking time to thoroughly understand where the other side is coming from and not just bashing them because they do not see it like you do, is essential to finding a real solution that everyone can work with. Calling people names like stupid, evil and fanatical will never bring someone to see your point of view. When you are really willing to respectfully listen to and understand, with empathy, their point of view, then doors will open for you to be understood as well.

It is then that we find common ground; it is here that we come to appreciate the fact that we are all human, just wanting to feel safe, secure and happy in this world we are currently experiencing. Taking an arrogant, mocking, superior position will never build bridges. There is nothing about any of us that is superior to someone else. We may be more learned in a certain area, but that doesn’t make us superior to another human being.

4. Make sure the change you desire to see is for the benefit of all involved. Whether you call it karma or reaping what you sow, or you get back what you put in, or “you made the bed now sleep in it,” the point is, do not misuse your personal power to change as a tool of manipulation. Be considerate of all life.

5. Be grateful. Morning, noon and night, as often and you think about it, give thanks continually. There is always something we can find in every situation to be thankful for. Whenever you find yourself feeding the negative monster or bashing what you hate, the quickest and surest remedy is to start naming to yourself all that you have to be thankful for in that given moment.

These five steps are powerful and can evoke the change that you desire to see in any situation. Whether it is a relationship, a personal need or a societal condition, by diligently practicing these steps you will begin to see improvement and the light of hope shining bright on the horizon.

From Self-Hate to Self-Love

The human heart is the only thing in this world
that weighs more when it’s broken

Self-hate is probably the most painful and destructive emotion a person can experience. It has it’s roots in the formative years of childhood where we see ourselves through the mirror of other people’s eyes. If love and acceptance do not out-weigh the negative perceptions we are given, self-hate can become a life-long struggle. Childhood abuse compounds self-hate to a point that people sometimes find no way out of the perpetual cycle of heartache and sorrow; indeed, many choose to end their own lives.

Self-hate can be observed in not taking care of our physical bodies, being out of touch with our true emotions, not having healthy boundaries, consistently putting other peoples needs above our own, not really knowing our true authentic self because we have spent so many years molding ourselves to the whims of others, staying in abusive and unhealthy relationships, not trusting our own perceptions, allowing others to dictate our lives, and even more obvious ways such as inflicting harm to self and constant critical and demeaning inner dialogue about self.

People who have been raised with sufficient love and acceptance have no idea the deep and injurious wounds self-haters are inflicted by. They are invisible to the naked eye and many times healthy people unwittingly inflict them further through indifference and ignorance. But even so, unless one becomes committed to self-love, unless you can make that determination that you are going to be your own best friend, all the love in the world given by others will continually be filtered by those core beliefs forged in the flames of an agonizing childhood.

There is only one way to fully overcome self-hate and that is through self-love. Yet, having battled this myself, I understand how completely futile that can feel. How does one learn to love themselves when they do not have any idea what that looks like or feels like?  But determination and great courage have kept me going and I have overcome so much. Consequently I feel stronger, happier and more peaceful than ever before. Through my personal experience, I have learned that self-love is the single most important art you can ever teach yourself for within self love are found the keys that unlock every other prison door and sets you completely free.

One beautiful human being that was so instrumental in helping me along this journey is the famous Teal Swan: The Spiritual Catalyst. Her background of abuse and torture is hard to even listen to and yet she has gone on to learn self-love and to teach others what she has learned. Now she has published a new book titled, “Shadows Before Dawn: Finding the Light of Self-Love Through our Darkest Times.” The following is her speaking on her journey to self-love at a book signing at Watkins in London. What she says in this video can help you to begin the wonderful and courageous journey to self-love!



Up in the pine-scent mountains and down along the salty seasides you will find large seed-pods of nature fairies. Unlike the ones found in city, these beautiful mountain dandelions stand 2-3 feet high and are as big a round as a baseball.

To the unaware, they go almost unoticed. But to those who are alive to the magic of the universe, you can sense their call as you pass by, “Wishes! Wishes! Come tell us your wishes and we’ll make them come true!”

Gently I enfold a handful of these little white nature fairies into my palms and whisper my wishes to them; I blow them up and out onto the fragrant breezes. Dancing merrily in the winds, with the purpose of a secret mission, they disperse into the vast endless sky of possibility.

At the close of the day, a knowing smile etches it’s way across my sun-weathered face as I remember my fairy friends, radiant with the promise of sunlight!

Good News Can Change the World

News once spread by word of mouthNews used to be spread primarily by word of mouth, which took a little time and kept some news to a central locality. Today we are bombarded with horrible news. Are these terrible things that are happening all around us unique to our generation? Absolutely not! What is unique, however, is the ability we now have to spread stories rapidly through the media.

The problem is, the sheer shock of the headlines is used as bait to lure us into the source it is propagated through. We need to stop eating that bait and start looking for wholesome bait- uplifting, heart warming stories that leave us believing in humanity and its potential.

Spiraling down the vibrational ladderThis is not denying that bad things happen. What it is doing is denying fuel to the unsavory and troubling. When we go ahead and read and share that piece of bad news,  we are brought down the vibrational scale. We feel angry, sad and even in despair. Life here begins to feel hopeless and out of control. These low-vibrational feelings are now adding to the collective vibrations which increase manifestation of low-vibrational happenings into our reality and ultimately the universe.

The good news is, today we individually have the resources to  share and even produce our own media. Through on-line forums such as youtube, facebook, google, twitter as well as by word of mouth, we can be selective and pass over the bad news and find the good news and share it! The key to  rapidly changing our world for the better is SHARING good news.

I see so many on-line forums that are all about finding fault or pointing out the bad. Most of these offer no solutions. They seem to think that by just being another voice to “uncover what is really going on”, they are making some sort of impact. But spreading malicious gossip, demeaning other people, or focusing on all that seems to be wrong in this world, is only perpetuating and increasing the negativity.

good newsBefore you share something on social media, ask yourself the questions, how will this make others feel? Will this bring hope, happiness, love, acceptance, unity, peace? When someone tunes into your message, how will they come away feeling? What emotions does what you put into the universe conjure up? Even if you are dealing with an issue that cannot be ignored, there are ways to shift the perception into a positive one. By offering concrete solutions and plans of actions or counterbalancing a negative issue with a positive one, you can shift up the vibrational ladder. You add hope in place of despair.

The media has the single most forceful influence on the amplitude of our universe. We can continue to allow it to lower this planet’s vibrations and thus attract more destruction, or we can be a positive influence by being selective about what we tune into, by prolifically sharing and generating good news, and by counterbalancing bad with concrete solutions. What we choose, will ultimately choose us!

Climbing the Vibrational Ladder

High vibrations is a place of love, trust, peace and serenity.  This current time world has a lot of low-vibrational activity going on all around us. Yet we have the capacity to begin to climb the vibrational ladder. Every thought and every action we execute has the potential to either raise or lower our vibrational state. Our mood begins with our thoughts which are generated by our perceptions of what is happening around us and how we interpret them.

Here is a personal example:

An individual came up to me and decidedly pronounced that California was going to have a famine. Alarmed, I asked, “What? Why?” She then told me that the government was not allowing farmers to water their crops. This person had perceived that this was a really bad thing and then interpreted it as a sure path to a state wide famine. She was in a low vibration and it was rippling out on me. But I decided to arrest the thought. I realized that this was her interpretation of what was going to happen. In putting this emotionally charged thought form out into the universe, she is likely to manifest this very thing happening- unless those who practice changing up the vibrations intercede. She will continue to spiral down the vibrational ladder unless she stops herself. This in turn will attract more of these worries and stories into her life. She has become a vibrational match to them.

What could she have done differently about this piece of news she heard?

She could pray for rain.
She could visualize a lush green state.
She could be more thoughtful about her own water usage. and
She could be more appreciative for the abundance of water she now enjoys.
She could advocate for the farmers right to water their farms.

These all would be higher vibrations than the resignation that she had given in to.

universe withinVibrations are emitted into the universe by literally every thing we think, do and say. Your vibrations affect everyone/everthing else around you. There are numberless ways to change up vibrations.  We could eat a colorful salad instead of greasy french fries, watch an uplifting movie instead of a violent one, do fifteen sit-ups instead of staring in the mirror for five minutes bemoaning our weight gain, add bright cheerful pillows to a dull couch or bed or put out a vase of fragrant flowers. If you really want to put this immediately into practice try SMILING- whether or not someone is looking. You will be surprised how you step right up that vibrational ladder.

Become more aware of the impact the vibrations others are having on you. You might be out driving, listening to music, feeling happy and then someone cuts you off or tailgates you; notice your vibrations being affected. How can you change them up? By arresting those reactions and refocusing your mind on what keeps you in a high vibrational state. Sometimes its that one person who says something or does something rude towards us that we let rankle inside us the rest of the day. If you find yourself disturbed by someone elses peevishness, ask yourself, “what is going right today?” It will help to shift your focus and raise your vibrations.

Vibrations are also affected by our self-care. Sometimes taking a nap is really needed. Honor that! And sometimes you need to get out in nature and just soak in some of it’s pure, magical essence. Do it! Make self care a priority in your life.

Our vibrations matter because on an energetic level, like attracts like. Most people have heard the story of the two wolves within- the good wolf and the bad wolf and how the one that survives and thrives is the one that we feed. That is so true on a vibrational level. When we feed good vibrations we attract to ourselves and ultimately into the universe, high vibrations- good things.

eyesIf you are anything like me, you have felt many times overwhelmed by all the issues and serious problems this world is facing. You may feel helpless, like you really can’t do anything about it. I say, YES YOU CAN! Changing up your vibrations one step at a time is the single most powerful action you can take in this world. It has the potential to bring you complete soul-satisfaction and to affect others in the same way. No matter where we are, no matter what is happening, we can always take a little step up, even if it is as simple as a smile or an earnest prayer whispered from the heart.