A poem depicting the absurdity in comparing ourselves with others

Journey On…
Written by Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

Don’t ever say-
Because I’m here
You shouldn’t be there
or
Because you’re there
I shouldn’t be here
It makes no sense

Would you ever say-
Because I am twenty
You shouldn’t be two
Because I love red
You shouldn’t love blue
or
Because you’re a teacher
It’s not okay I’m a student
Because I’m carefree
It”s not okay that you are prudent
Because I’m in the east
It’s not okay you’re in the west
Because you do it better
It’s not okay I do my best
Because I see the sunset
It’s not okay you see it rise
or
Because I slipped and stumbled
It’s not okay that you were wise?

See how ridiculous
this thinking seems to be?
When I cannot be you
And you cannot be me!

Do you ever say-
Because you’re over there
I should not be here
or
Because I’m over here
You should not be there?
It makes no sense

One should never say-
Because my skin is black
Your skin should not be white
Because I think it’s wrong
You cannot be right
Because my body’s whole
It’s not okay you cannot walk
Because I know the language
It’s not okay you cannot talk
Because I am straight
It’s not okay that you are gay
Because you have to work
It’s not okay that I should play
or
Because you are happy
It’s not okay that I am sad
Because they got it good
It’s not okay I’ve got it bad
Because you are you
It’s not okay that I am me
Because I have a vision
It’s not okay that you do not see

Because I am here
It’s not okay that you are there
or
Because you are there
It’s not okay that I am here
It makes no sense

Here’s what we should say-

I am here, and
It’s okay that you are there
You are there, and
It’s okay that I am here
I see one way
Because I am here
You see another way
Because you are there
Your journeys yours
My journeys mine
I may be twenty
You may be ninety-nine
You may be a woman
I may be a man
Another may be both
By what they understand
You may live in India
I may live in France
I may be very timid
You may love to dance

One thing is for certain
It’s foolish that we fight
And say you must be wrong
Because I think I’m right
It is what it is, and
We are where we are
And from where I started
I’ve come thus far
So journey on my friend
I wish you all the best
As you travel east, and
I travel west

Cheerio!

Trying to Get it Right

A Poem I wrote today about the struggle in trying to get something right!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trying to Get it Right
Written by: Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

I heard you the first time
and tried to get it right
But my memory and my will
Got into a fight
My will it won the battle
and overtook my might

Your earnest plea the next time
Made my memory strong
I made a resolution
Not to get it wrong
But my resolution vanquished
Beneath the pressing throng

The punishment convinced me
N’er let my focus stray
To do my duty faithfully
Let nothing dim my way
But boredom slowed my footsteps
Daydreams set me to play

Your smile was refreshing
As you explained to me
The hows and whats and whys
And then you set me free
Right or wrong or not at all
Was now a choice for me

I heard you the last time
But now I understood
I didn’t have to try this time
I knew I surely would
For my will was now the Master
Of the right way for my good!

Made of Starlight


Made of Starlight
Written by Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

Descending in to an abyss,
I awoke,
and it was dark;
But fireflies flitted about.
I laughed and danced
and chased them,
tried to catch them,
until I tripped and fell
and descended yet deeper,
where it was darker.
The fireflies flitted about
and I cried…
for their light had betrayed me.
I buried my face in sorrow
and when time stood still
I looked up,
and to my joy I beheld
infinite twinkling starlight;
and I leaped and I laughed.
I climbed the highest mountain I could find,
and I stood upon my toes and reached
my clutching fingers.
Then I fell down and wept.
For the starlight moved higher
with each ascending step.
I called out into the night;
“How can I grasp a star? How must I catch a firefly?”
The breezes shifted, and lost their gentle touch.
They whipped me and chided me.
I ran in a flurry;
I stumbled and fell…
deeper, yet deeper still into the abyss.
And so dark was this depth,
I perceived not my own self.
I saw not one firefly.
no stars shared their light.
I must be nothing- I must not exist.
Tears ceased to fall; I was nothing at all.
Then far in the distance,
a lone light
pierced the blackness.
Slowly I crawled
laboriously,
one terrified
step at a time.
The sole flicker
my last hope,
grew brighter with each step.
I wondered at it’s beauty.
No firefly nor star radiated
as brightly, as clearly.
Soon I stood upon my feet.
The shadows slunk away.
In the BRILLIANCE of its blaze,
the night turned into day!
It burnished out a world of wonder and delight.
As I drew closer to the source of this mighty flame,
I leaped and laughed and danced.
But when I reached the place,
from whence this light was glowing
I staggered in a daze
astonished at what I saw
A mirror stood before me- that was all!
In reverent silence I stood staring at myself,
for I now could clearly see
that the starlight I had longed for
had always been in me!

The Last Question

  The Last Question

Written by Elizabeth A. Van Cleve

The bird asks,
Where shall I build my nest?
What shall I make it with?
When shall I rest?
When will these eggs hatch?
When will my peeps flee?
Where will they go
when they’ve parted from me?
What shall I eat next?
Where shall I fly?
How many days do I have till I die?

The tree asks,
When will the rain fall?
Deaths on the brink!
Where can I dig my roots for a drink?
Will this tempest soon pass?
My branches are aching!
When will the winds cease before I start breaking?
Where will these critters that live in me go,
If my days be shortened, I am sure I don’t know.
How many years will I stand in my glory?
Is there no soul who will treasure my story?

The man asks,
Where did I come from?
Where am I going?
How come the oceans and rivers keep flowing?
Why are the stars so far out of reach?
Why do they twinkle, what do they teach?
How deep are the waters?
What lies down below?
How many plants are there?
How do they grow?
What is this flesh and blood that is I?
Why is it breathing and why does it die?
Why can’t I see in the blackness of night?
Why do I tremble, when I feel fright?
What are these tears and this pain I am feeling?
Why do more questions come with revealing?
When will I understand all in perfection?
When will my knowledge exceed my perception?
When will I ask the very last question?
Will there e’er be and end to progression?

Were told,
Doubts generate questions,
Just trust and believe.
Then you’ll be happy,
You’ll find your reprieve.

But answers are living
They’re the ether’s obsession.
And the spark of life dies
In the absence of of questions.

Where did this all start?
And where will it end?
Who is the enemy?
Who is our friend?

How do I hold onto any possession?
What will be found in the very last question?

 

What is RIGHT with Me!?

improved_compressed

When someone else comes against us, discourages us, rejects us, misunderstands us, makes fun of us, breaks up with us, or is just plain mean to us, after grappling through the initial blow and shock of what just happened, more often than not, we start to ask ourselves, “What is wrong with me?”

Lets put the breaks on this question right here and now with the simple answer:

NOTHING!!!!

We are not even asking the right question,

“What is wrong with THEM?” 

After all, they are the one with the issue- not you.

They are the one responsible for how they feel and react or respond to ANYTHING in life- including you.

Its time to dump the question of what’s wrong with me and replace it with an empowering, positive question;

“What is RIGHT with me?”

In fact, if you tend to look for what is wrong with you, start making the question “What is RIGHT with me?” a regular habit.

Smile at yourself in the mirror. Ignore all those ugly negative voices that keep trying to pull you into self-condemnation.

Tell that beautiful, one of kind person in the mirror that you are his/her BEST friend and you are going to start telling him/her all the reasons why!

“What is RIGHT with me?”

Now that is a question worth meditating on and answering!!!

Have an awesome day!

 

Why Are They Rejecting Me?

Rejection

One of the most painful human experiences is that of rejection. This is because we are all interconnected and love and acceptance is a primal need.

Rejection is difficult to deal with for anyone and the difficulty increases when it comes to close friends and family, the ones we feel most connected to.

Their are both overt and covert ways of rejecting someone.
An example of an overt rejection is someone outright making fun you or telling you in some way that they do not like something about you.

Covert rejection is more subtle and deceitful.
We feel it inwardly, but outwardly the family and/or friends we feel rejected by act as if they are accepting us; yet, something about their energy or their little subtle remarks to us, tell us that they do not accept us. We may feel confused, frustrated and many times we mercilessly blame ourselves.

The law of attraction states that like attracts like.
When we are striving to raise our positive vibrations, continual, subtle feelings of rejection by those we love can derail us over and again until we feel like giving up.

Powerful exercises to help you overcome the negative emotions rejection evokes:

The following exercises will empower you and help you to move past those negative, hurtful feelings of rejection and onto creating your life of love, joy and full and unconditional self-acceptance.
(The exercises should either be done verbally out-loud or written down somewhere)

Part 1

  • Acknowledge how you feel. E.g. I feel rejected, unloved, hurt…
  • Locate the feeling-pain in your physical body. Talk about it as you feel it move through your body. Breath deeply, blowing out the negative emotions as you write or speak. E.g. It feels like somebody punched me in the gut. The pain is moving through up into my chest around my heart and lungs. (deep breath, slowly release) the energy is shifting. It isn’t as painful now. It is up in my shoulders sort of tingly. (breath deep move and shake the energy around and out of your shoulders) I am blowing it out and I am starting to feel better.

Do this exercise until you feel better. Do not add the reason why or the story behind it. Just feel the energy move through and out of your body. When you have come to a better feeling place, breath a few more deep cleansing breaths while stretching your arms and legs and body out.

Part 2

Why are they rejecting me?

It all has to do with energy and vibrations. Obviously we are attracting the energy of rejection into our vibration. So it stands to reason that somewhere we have adopted the belief that we are not acceptable, or we are unlovable. Try and think back as far as possible to the very first time you felt this feeling or rejection.

E.g. My first feeling of rejection came very young when I was born to a Newly-wed mother and father who had both been previously married and divorced and had other children from their first union. Due to the confusion and pain of being separated from their biological father and now disciplined in severe ways by their step father, my older siblings felt very threatened by my presence. Most of the time they wouldn’t let me play with them. I was even injured a few times by their rejection. Once they accidentally slammed my finger in the door and the tip of my finger was severed. Another time my sister had a neighbor boy punch me in the stomach. I passed out while walking home crying. There is no blame here on them, just the way the energy of rejection was already in place and going through our vortex. I would eventually reject my younger siblings at times as well. It was the energy cycle we were immersed in. 

Lets look at the energetic side to my story:

I was born into a very negative vortex. Because I was born into a family of people that were already deeply wounded by rejection, they were not able to receive my love and affection. In fact, my vulnerability made them outright angry because it reminded them of their own defenselessness. Consequently they rejected and wounded me too. I took into my vortex the energetic imprint of unlovable and unacceptable, and began to attract experiences into my vortex of reality that matched it. I can look over my life and see a painful trail of rejections.

Consider the people who originally rejected you.
What was their energetic imprint? How did this affect your vortex?

Take a little time to comfort your child-self that was originally wounded.
Help him or her to see that it was because the people around her were not able to take in the love and affection he or she offered and it really was not about her, but them. Comfort that child.

Lets add a little deeper perspective to it now as an adult.

When your energy is about healing, love, authenticity and honesty, there are many unhealed people that these positive energy forces will clash with.

Consider this:

If someone feels safe in conformity, your honesty and authenticity will feel threatening to them. If someone is too fearful to face their own shadows, your love and healing energy will feel threatening to them. When someone feels threatened, they generate defenses and hatred towards the one that feels threatening.

An animal senses fear as a threat. Your fear of rejection will also amplify the problem. Because fear is a very negative emotion, it only generates negative vibrations. But as you clear those fears through understanding energetic imprinting and cleansing the wounds, you will feel rejection less and less and begin to love and accept yourself fully. Joy will ensue!

Repeat the above exercises as often as needed.

Practice part 1 whenever you are sideswiped with those feelings of rejection. Move the energy through. Do not allow it to continue rolling around in your body and mind. Deal with it.

Practice part 2 until you fully understand the cause and effect of your own energetic imprint. Knowledge is power. Once you understand what we are really dealing with at an energetic level, you now have the tools to let that negative energy be reabsorbed into pure positive energy- send it into the energetic vortex of reality- it was never really about you.

Now you can move forward in creating a life of happiness and pure JOY!

Start Your Day with Awesome Sauce

love-pen-bed-drinking

Good Morning!

Here is quick morning practice to do before you even get out of bed that can add that extra awesome sauce to your day!

  1. As soon as you wake up say “Good Morning” out-loud with a smile on your face.
  2. Next, say out-loud, three things you are thankful for; e.g. Thank you for a safe nights rest. Thank you for another day of life. Thank you for this bed/ room….
  3. Spend five minutes waking up your body. Stretch your feet back and forth. Roll your wrist. Take long, smooth, deep breaths. Bask in the moment.
  4. Sit up and ask yourself, how do I feel today and what do I need? Tune into your body. Its it tired? Sore? Refreshed? What about your mood? Do your night dreams come to mind? Bring them to the forefront. What emotions were felt? How do they relate to your current life? Acknowledge them. If they were negative emotions, determine what you need to bring them up the vibrational scale. Keep a journal and pen by your bed to take notes.
  5. Once you decide on your needs, think about how you can meet those needs in the upcoming day. If you are sore, maybe a hot Epsom salt bath and a couple aspirin would help. If you are weary from a stressful week, perhaps you needs rest and relaxation.
  6. Ask yourself, “How do I want this day to feel?” Now that you have tuned in to your needs and desires, you can answer this question. Feel is the key word here. Do you want to feel relaxed? If you are meeting up with people, how do you want the meet up to feel? If you are going to work, how do you want work to feel today? Put your feelers out there and really feel what you desire.
  7. Now commit it all to the universe. Place it all in a colorful bubble- choose a color that feels good and then mentally release it for the universe to work it out.

You are the co-creator of your life. You are either creating by default or you are creating intentionally.

Have an AWESOME day!!!

Hi Vibes for the Wounded Soul; the struggle is real!

contemplation2

As a child, the mental and emotional abuse I endured was almost unbearable.
There was some physical abuse as well, in the form of corporal punishment that never matched the “crime.”
Most of the time I had no idea what I had done wrong, but my father seemed very adept at pulling heinous crimes out of the hat for an excuse to unleash his own unhealed wounds on his children.
The alcohol consumption only worsened the amount and intensity of his chastisements.

Horror… terror…dread…
How does one describe being a child of a belligerent drunk?

I have flashes of hiding under the bed, or in the closet,
covering my ears so as to shut out the screams of my siblings,
my heart pounding into my throat-
hoping beyond hope he would not find me.
Who knows the hours I remained there at times, terrified to come out.

But it was the emotional abuse that was the most damaging-
the angry and insulting slurs,
beating me down, insult by insult,
like a worthless piece of existence.

Being raised by a father figure-
the one you looked up to for love and acceptance,
to cheer you on,
to protect you from the harshness of life,
to give you strength and courage…
left scars that are blatantly visible in my everyday life…
Scars from always being watched by a condemning eye,
relentlessly ridiculed and punished,
scars of never being enough-
never kind enough, good enough, obedient enough…
And those scars don’t go away.
Some of them pierce me everyday,
cast an ugly shadow over my spirit,
get in the way of the perfect life I long to live…

I want to say to you,
I understand that the struggle is real.
You are not alone!
I get it!

High vibes life has been the antidote to my deep depression,
to low self-esteem, to fear of waking up,
and to fear of dying.

High Vibes Life has taught me…
That I can create something NEW!
I can paint my own rainbow
and make my world beautiful!

It has not been easy.
Everyday I have to practice.
Everyday the scars and wounds stare me in the face,
and everyday I have to kiss them good morning
welcome them once again as part of who I am.
Everyday I have to check my forgiveness,
for the one who originally wounded and maimed my soul,
and for the ones along lifes path
who unwittingly kicked at my wounds,
and scorned my tenderness.

Everyday I have to chase away the shadows of yesterday,
and begin the day anew- with beautiful thoughts.
Many times I awaken from disturbing dreams;
Most of the really scary ones have faded, but I still dream
of being rejected, unloved, unwanted, unworthy;
But I’ve learned to thank them for the what they show me;
They guide me to understand what positive affirmations I need to write.

And I remind myself anew, out loud,
in ink, in voice, in mind, in Spirit:

freesoul

YOU ARE LOVED!
YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE!
YOU ARE LOVEABLE!
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
IT IS SAFE TO BE ALIVE!
YOU ARE TRULY AMAZING!
YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND EVER!
I LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

 

*If this article has touched your heart, please share it on one of the forums below.
I also look forward to your encouraging comments.

Namaste!

The Eye of the Universe

I wanted that bean burrito
with warm refried beans
and mounds of sharp cheddar cheese oozing over them
I craved that bean burrito
topped with dollops of creamy white sourcream
and a handful of salty black olives
I stirred a small pot of warm the beans in mounting anticipation
proud of choosing to eat what my body seem to desire
glad that I possessed all the makings at hand

I pushed you away-
Resolutely!
Because I needed that bean burrito…
Or did I?

I pulled out my block of Tillamock cheese,
and sliced off just a small piece to pop in my mouth
So salty and savory, so good!

But you returned-
Resolutely!
Your large, sweet, deep brown eye
the eye that held the soul of the universe
piercing through decades of branding and conditioning
your eye found mine
Spanning oceans of culture and tradition
Soaring above mountains of corporate mind-rape

Slave holders, soldiers, prison guards- anyone that subjects another life knows…
cows eye1AVOID THE EYE- do not make eye contact
But your eyes drew mine-
contact was made
And they were crying
Blazing yet another “Trail of Tears”
left in the wake
of human gluttony and apathy

My soul wrestled within as the skin of my hand held the block of cheese-
This was no longer simple; one by one my arguments were extinguished
in this historical river of tears…
The cheese was no longer a beautifully wrapped, sensual morsel of deliciousness;
but an ensign of participation- to partake of this simple pleasure
Was to remain in the battalion of apathy and gluttony-
Was to partake in inhumane treatment of life!
It was to refuse the eye that bore witness to inconceivable amount of suffering

I had looked into the eye with such helplessness and despair.
Amidst a multitude of people, smiling, laughing, intrigued
People roaming about in freedom
eating, drinking, enjoying entertainment and food to the full
Holding their sacred children near
Mothers nuzzling their babes at their breasts
offering the nourishment perfectly designed for them

All the while you were held in the tight confines of a small barred-in cell
a machine relentlessly tugging on your breasts
that were meant for your babies
The crowds jostled about in their merriment, gawking on, avoiding your eyes…

Were the tears that ran from your eyes and the desperate pleading gaze
effected by a surging pain from the machine?
Or by a broken heart of your lost infant?
Or, perhaps by both?

I could bear it no longer- the farm at the fair.
I could not set you free, and I could not watch you suffer.
So I left…

But you have not left me
Your eye, streaked with tears of sorrow, burn on in my soul.

I wanted that bean burrito…
or did I?

Perhaps all I really crave now, is a bowl of warm beans,
spiced with a little hot-sauce
topped with a few chopped onions
and to cry, for you, for me, for us…

for the eye that held the universe,
and spoke into my soul
of tragedy so monstrous
Born of deadened hearts

The eye has awakened me

Stay awake my soul!

Take Down Your Internal Assassin

“Make sure your worse enemy is not living between your own ears.” 

While sleeping, I had a dream…

A loud, aggressive, hateful woman was walking down the street alongside a sidewalk I was walking on. Following her was a group of defeated humans- some were being led to their assassination, others had weapons and were obeying her commands. She herself had a small handgun- and so did I. (we both had the same weapon)

They stopped in the street and the people braced their-selves to face their death. I watched in horror from behind a bushy tree, desperate to save them yet terrified of being seen.

Instinctively I knew, that if I could take the woman down, not only would I save the lives of the condemned, but I would set free the soldiers who only obeyed her out of fear. My hands shook as I pulled out my hand gun and checked the barrel to make sure it was loaded.

But the hateful, angry woman’s senses were too keen as her ears perked up to my subtle movements. She demanded I come out from behind the tree. I went to bring my gun up to shoot her, but she was quicker and drew hers up to shoot me. By a twist of fate, her gun did not fire. I took off running, her and the soldiers in hot pursuit behind.

I ran into a building and found a dark room in which to hide. I got my gun ready- aimed to shoot when she came to knock down the door. But I awoke before it happened.

All morning the dream kept coming back to me. I knew a message lay within the visions I had seen. Eventually it became clearer as I contemplated the fact that all characters in a dream usually reflect some part of your inner world.

The Hateful Assassin

Most people have experience with an internal assassin. This is the condemning voice that rattles on inside your head. He or she, gathers all your personas for assassination. She hates them. She has nothing but murder for them. Her hate is a product of deep rooted, unresolved anger. But she is blaming herself- her personas. She is aggressive and cruel.

Your core persona has compassion. Your core persona loves every part of her, even the weak parts, the failed parts, the shadowy dark parts, because they are all part of who she is as a whole. Each persona has offered life-perspective and been with her on her journey. But the angry persona wont have it. She sees them as weak and blames them for all of her misery. Both the assassin and the core have the exact same weapon. Each have the ability to destroy the other. If the assassin overtakes the core, then all that she is will die. But if she is able to outsmart and overtake the assassin, then all of her internal world will be set free.

The core persona is the only one who is equipped to take out the internal assassin. If she does not, the internal assassin will destroy all that she holds dear- all that life is to her. Your internal assassin will show no mercy.

assassinWe all have a responsibility to rescue our selves from our own internal assassin. As in the dream, she is powerful and is backed by an arsenal of armed soldiers that do her bidding. We may be frightened, weak, outnumbered, overpowered; we made need to find a dark room to hide and get our thoughts together and our ammunition prepared and ready for use.

It will only take one bullet properly aimed. It only takes us positioning ourselves right, aiming, and pulling the trigger. If we can give that internal assassin that one death blow, all can be free and unite in joy as one.

The loyalties of your inner persona are not to the assassin, but to YOU! Do not let fear overcome your resolve to be the hero of your own life. Do not allow that internal assassin to go on any further with her hateful, destructive ways.

What will take her down? What is the one bullet, the one gun that will wipe her out? What is the position we must take? Remove yourself from her aim, get out your gun, postition yourself to fire and wait for her to come to you. Your ammunition is…

LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE OF ALL THAT YOU ARE! freedom1

Look in the mirror and say to your SELF, with every ounce of passion and courage you have remaining within you-

“(Your NAME)- I am your BEST friend . I got your back! You are not alone! You are AWESOME. You are a valuable and beautiful soul. You deserve to be here and to live life to the fullest. I love and accept you JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!” 

Those are powerful bullets. Aim and begin shooting!

Take out that internal assassin. Set your soul free!!!

Much love…