The sparkles of life are the moments- the experiences of pure pleasure; it is that exquisite dinner, that breathtaking sunset, that intense and connected time with a loved one. They are the moments that make up our fondest memories. They are what makes life worth living.
We seek for love, happiness, companionship and experiences, all because these feel good. It therefore stands to reason that when something feels good to go with it, and when something feels bad, leave it. Joy, happiness, love- all feel good. They are the spark of life. Here are some ways to help create more sparkle in your life:
- Count your blessings: Begin NOW! Look in your immediate surroundings and circumstances for what feels good. There may be a lot to see or a little, but find it! Focus on it! Think about why it feels good. What senses does it evoke?
- Upgrade your experience: Ask yourself, is there anyway I can make these feel good areas feel even better? Example: I love this hot cup of coffee in my hands. It smells wonderful, and is warming to my cold fingers. Perhaps a shake of cinnamon and little cream would make it even better? Can I take 5-10 minutes and sit somewhere to really enjoy it? Maybe even outside listening to the birds, or while reading a small passage from a book I love. Maybe sipping coffee with a friend or spouse is even better?
- Remove the Irritants: Are there any distractions or irritations that I can remove now? Do not get caught up in what you can’t do anything about, but rather, just remove or change what you are able. Perhaps you are sitting in the living room and you just clear your coffee table, dust it off and light a candle. Maybe a little child is hampering you. Can you distract him/her for a moment while you enjoy your coffee?
- Try new things: Go new places, taste foods you’ve never had, listen to different music, play a new game. If you were a tour guide in your town, where would you take tourists? Are there places nearby you have not yet visited? New experiences can often be exhilarating. The more you experience, the more things you will find that feels good.
- Write it down! Keep an ongoing list on a notepad that you can quickly access- perhaps in your notes on your phone or a small paper pad you can keep with you. Just reading your list regularly will evoke better feelings. Whenever something feels really good, add it to your list. Incorporate as many of these listed things into your life regularly. Here is a sample list of things that feel really good to me:
- Hot baths
- Massaging essential oils into my body
- Puppy time- hugging and petting my dog
- Brunches with my girlfriends
- Sipping on hot Chai tea
- Laying in the sun
- Warm sand between my toes
- Spending time with my grand-daughter
- Chatting with my children
- Opening windows and hearing the birds in the mornings
- Popping a large bowl of buttery popcorn and watching Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter
- Browsing shops in newly visited towns
- Outdoor picnics
- Flying a kite
- Planting flowers and veggies we love
- Smelling roses, violets, Lilacs and honey suckle
The more personal and detailed it is, the better. With each thing you add to the list, it should evoke a pleasurable, peaceful, joyful emotion.
Sometimes you will add something to your list and notice that it doesn’t really feel good. Explore this. Perhaps you are doing something that you feel is supposed to feel good, but for you it doesn’t. For example, maybe spending time with your grown children actually feels stressful but you feel like it should be pleasant. The best thing to do is to acknowledge your real feelings, and ask yourself why you feel the way you do about it. Maybe you stress too much over pleasing them or perhaps they have issues you can do nothing about; but you really desire to be able to enjoy your time with them. This would be an area that is subtly sabotaging your happiness. Meditate and visualize how you wish the relationship was as if it is. Hold this vision as much as your are able, and remove this from your list for now, until it is genuinely something you enjoy. This does not imply that you remove them from your life necessarily but rather you are recognizing what really makes you happy and what doesn’t. Honesty is key to any real growth.
Unhappiness is often because we are not living consciously and not pursuing what feels good. Unless we can really know what feels good to us, we cannot pursue it.
If you do not feel good, you will not be happy. And you will not feel good if you are not seeking, finding and applying to your life those aspects that make you feel good. Its okay for life to be pleasurable. Its okay to add a little sparkle to your day!